|i feel it all|
Josh’s work called and they thought he was stealing. They said the past couple of nights he’s been working the drawers came up short. He said he didn’t know anything about it and at first they didn’t believe him but now they do. Thank God. He’s looking for a new job, though because he’s mad that after being such a great employee they’d accuse him first. After that, we went to the bank to deposit his check and he had a $166 collection of over draft fees. So he freaked and then calmed down and then we went through his room, got his Xbox, his games, old movies and when he was “going to work” we took them to the pawn shop and got $95. So we weren’t going to
We took Rebecca and Autumn with us to the grocery store and Blockbuster. They bickered and were obnoxious and they rented The Last Mimzy and Josh and I got fight Club, the best movie of all time. So we came home and I fed Josh a hamburger. Then, I went out to the motor home where the portable DVD player was and I saw my leather jacket on the floor with a dusty footprint on it. I grabbed the player and came inside. Rebecca yelled “HEY WE NEED THAT!” and I said “No, remember, Papa was going to bring the blow up mattress and you guys were going to watch it in the living room? We need it for my room.” “NUHUH!!!” Rebecca yelled I specifically remember that! And then I grabbed my jacked and held it up in front of them.
From the couch, Jammies was watching me with this look on her face like how you watch a slapstick comedy routine, waiting for the punch line. “You guys, I found my jacket on the floor in the motor home and it’s a very expensive jacket. I got it for Christmas.” They were both looking past me at the TV. Jammies was rolling her eyes. “Guys! It was even in the bag from dad’s house. Why as it all on the floor?” They shrugged and both mumbled “sorry” while Jammies looked like she thought I was really funny. They just wanted me out of the way of their TV. I went into my room and I started to cry on my bed. Josh sat next to me and tried to make me feel better. I just felt and feel, still, so upset. I feel like no one listens to anything I say. That I don’t matter. But he insisted I do and if I do to him that’s enough. So I almost vomited on my feet because I was upset but I kept it back.
We snuggled down and watched Fight Club and I was in a much better mood. So was he. Then, his phone rang and we popped up, anxious because his parents thought he was at work but it was Kristen so we relaxed. He answered and she said Steve came in and Alicia was the one at the counter and said he wasn’t working. So seconds later Steve called. “WHERE ARE YOU?” “I got off early because I covered my manager’s shift last Thursday.” “I SAID WHERE ARE YOU?” “I’m at Paige’s.” “GET HOME IN THIRTY SECONDS! NOW! RIGHT NOW!” So he was scared and ran out. He called me a few minutes later and said that Steve yelled about not going anywhere in one of his cars and all that shit because as of now he’s driving the Kia because the Mercedes is being worked on.
He had come for the keys o a car he was going to transport. So he made Josh drive down there. I started getting very sick while I was talking to him. I was crying because I was frustrated. I hate that it’s a fight to do anything fun. I ahte that we are forced to go to car shows. I hate that he’s stuck there all day. I hung up and threw up my dinner. Then I called him back and he said that he thinks he’s leaving tonight. “I never told you, I got a fortune cookie that said I would be a guest in a very gracious host’s home. And do you remember that dream I had about fighting with Steve? Him telling me to get out?” I did. Josh has dreams, weird ones that do tell the future. About getting caught sneaking out, about more strange things that came true. I think tonight may be the night. “They’ve said it before, that if I fight with them again they’ll kick me out. My mom’s told me to leave before.” And I knew that. I hope it happens, but I’m scared at the same time.