| My Life's Music.... |
|---|
|
Ok so I know it's been a long time since my last entry, there has been so many things going on and a lot has happened, my apologies-but I promise to catch you all back up again. So we'll start with the holiday weekend (September 1st-3rd-3 day weekend) On Saturday the 1st-I went to an old friends house (Marks) and the original plan was to go jetsking on the lake and enjoy the rest of the day-but I wasn't feeling all that great so we watched a movie and he made a delicious chicken dinner-he recently just bought a new house-that's sadly further away than his old address and he wanted me to come by and see it-it's a nice quaint little house-you could do a lot with it though-but it takes like an hour to get there. We haven't talked since that day-I think he has some kind of brain handicap, sometimes he can be so mean-but still has a gentle side-I don't think were meant to be friends-he makes it more difficult than it should to even try and be his friend. Anyway I just relaxed and enjoyed the rest of the holiday weekend, watching movies, playing games, relaxing in bed and cleaning (don't ask). Then Tuesday came around and I had promised Carla and Bill (my bosses) that I would be there everyday this week because I was going to get listened to for certification (billing thing). So I work my hours and then went home and took off the stress and the steam from the day, which Tuesday wasn't to bad. Then Wednesday came around and it went by and towards the end of the day I found out that I was being listened to by corporate for my certification-so I put on my best behavior and biggest smile-I wanted an "A" call out of it and damn it I was going to get one. One of the coaches was sitting next to me almost the whole time helping me with little things I was missing here and there-but I felt confident and couldn't wait till Thursday to see how I did-and I did all this with some sores I had been having on my tongue-even though it hurt like hell to talk because every time I did the sores would rub against my teeth-I wanted to make sure I passed certification and got that "A" call. I came in on Thursday to only find out that something went wrong with the tape and that they would have to do it again today-what a bunch of BS!!!! Today was definitely not the day to listen to me, I had already started having a bad day and my tongue from the sores was killing me, I almost called out-I knew today wouldn't be a god day to listen to me, and it sucks so much because I had some good calls Wednesday, ones that I and Carla would name "A" calls, but that's just my luck-something always gets in the way of something I'm trying harder and harder for-I just wish I could catch a break, with life, love and everything in between-and I feel so terrible saying that because I know there are a lot of other people out there suffering from their own monsters and they need more help than I do. So Thursday sucked really bad and by the end of the day my mouth was in so much pain I was crying at my desk-barely, just trying to keep a grip on things and not letting anyone see me in pain. By Friday after I cried myself to sleep in pain I decided since they had got some calls for certification that would be enough, because I couldn't talk anymore without being in extreme pain-it was so awful. The whole weekend wasn't much different-just in lots of pain, couldn't eat, sleep or drink anything without hurting more-I even cried my eyes out and prayed to god numerous times asking him to please just relieve the pain-but he didn't, and for a few days I was so upset because he didn't help me and I was angry with him, I kept asking myself why would someone like god let you stay in pain that you've been trying to heal but nothing has been working-the pain clouded my mind and that's why I was upset with him-though I know I shouldn't be-god has bigger issues to solve than just me-all I needed was a doctors appointment and some strong medication, one of the good things I can say though is that I don't think god's angels ever left my side the entire time, even when I was angry and said some bad things-I felt them there, like they always have been, trying to tell me I'm going to be ok and they know the pain I feel but that I should still keep my faith-and I did and still at the end of the day-they were there and I talked to them about all of my pain-and that night I finally slept, peacefully. First thing on Monday morning I went to the doctors office with my mom (because I couldn't talk at this point, my tongue was swollen and in pain) and we went early. One of the things I remember the doctor (Dr Cameron) saying is "Wow when you do get these ulsers, you get them bad" and we both knew that I had never really got them, at least not this bad-he couldn't explain why all of a sudden I kept getting these and why there so bad-he left the room and consulted with another doctor and then a woman Dr came in and gave me 3 prescriptions (WOW) that's a just a few-one of them was 3 pills I took at the same time and that one would be done, another one was a pill I took every 4 hours until it's gone, and the last one was a mouth swish liquid that I'm supposed to swish with every 4 hours (it also makes your mouth completely numb) and every time I take it, I felt so relieved because it would take away the pain if only for a few hours and then I would do it again-and I have been taking the pills and the mouth stuff for a few days now, still trying to get better-it's not as bad as it was originally was but still a little ulser on the very back of my tongue-last one thank goodness, then I can get back to a some what normal life and enjoy a big greasy cheese burger:) lol. So this brings us pretty much up to date with me, lets bring you up to date with a few other people: John-he's doing good, having issues though with his mom and grandma at home-but he's working them out-he's been really sweet and offered to help me a lot while I've been sick-he's really starting to grow up, I can see it and it's a good change-sometimes I kinda miss him. Arron-is doing ok, was acting a little weird yesterday but I'm not sure if that's because he's upset or sad at something-he kept saying everything's ok but I'm not a complete moron-I also just found out a girl of his spent the night last week-which I had no clue about, I have to tell ya that's a little uncomfortable for me when someone is staying here and I don't know about it-I mean don't get me wrong it's fine, I would just like to know someone else is here besides me and him just in case I might get up in the middle of the night and find some stranger in the kitchen, also there has been some instances where I would go to work in the morning and the door is unlocked and the bar at the top is off-that's what makes me really worried because I know every night before I go to bed I lock the front door-and it's a little scary because I wonder how long I might have been sleeping with the front door unlocked-I mean anyone could just walk right in and I don't know how the door keeps coming un locked-and Arron doesn't go to work until after I do so that's making me a little paranoid. Anyway so today is Thursday and I'm feeling a little bit better today, I should be back at work tomorrow (hopefully), my plans for today are get some more rest and clean the kitchen and living area, it's the biggest mess I'd ever seen, but it seems like every time I clean it, it's just as bad a few days later-I think we both need to just start cleaning up after ourselves as soon as we make the mess instead of procrastinating, because it's getting really bad and I can't take it anymore-I mean Arron was playing dance dance revolution last night and still today it's still spread all over the floor-I can't understand why he couldn't just put it back away-but I guess I do the same thing sometimes, but that's going to end today-from now on I'm going to start cleaning up after my mess when I make it-not when I feel like it, and I'm going to make sure the kitchen and living area stays clean because don't want people over with the place like this-to embarrassing-I just hope Arron agrees and changes and will pick up after himself from now on in the kitchen and living area-I mean don't get me wrong, I like to clean and sometimes I find it relaxing-but not every few days, I could use a break hear and again, and Arron sometimes does the dishes and cleans the kitchen-it looks nice actually, but I think if we both start cleaning up after ourselves it will never get this bad again. Anyway so I guess I'm going to get started cleaning so I can get done and enjoy the rest of the day, I'm also going to continue burning my movies for my personal library-I must have like 150 movies now, or more-I love it, and I love movies of all kinds. Lets see what else did I want to talk about....Ohhh yea Halloween Horror Nights is coming up and I can't wait to go-I love it there, but no matter what I'm not going into any of the haunted houses-those things scare the SHIT out of me, but like everything else they have set up. I also can't wait till the trip to New York City in the winter, I'm so excited-if I could move there I would, I love it there, there's always something to do and it is the city that never sleeps, and the skyline at night is so beautiful-I'm glad Arron is the one going with me on the trip-I really think he'll like it with the snow-there's so much of it there. Well I better get going and start the cleaning-it's going to take some time, anyway until next time chao!
(D) "From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another." -John 1:16
|
