|The Life of Terry...|
Don't you agree we are all actors in this game of "life"? Just about every single second, every single moment, we are faced with countless choices/decisions to make that sometimes could lead to various implications and repurcussions... Just like now, the fact that I chose to start this very first entry in my OD could actually allow millions around the world to read this, with some giving their comments/critiques. Even so, at this second, as I choose to move my right hand to scratch that itchy mosquito bite on my ass, it's also considered a choice that I made automatically or subconciously- otherwise known as a reflex to an event....
Dating back to the very first day when I first stepped into LT11 in NUS for my EL1101E lecture, I was feeling so lonely , so very alienated by the myraid of colours that pervaded my eyes, possibly stunned into oblivion due to the effect of 'cultural shock' I was facing and the notion of total independant learning(no longer spoonfeed-learning that I've always received throughout my years of education) really threw me into a state of apprehension. My mind was in a whirl as I took a seat at the left section of the LT, awaiting the lecturer to arrive and begin the lecture. As I looked around me, I came to the realization that I was in " a whole-new territory which I must learn to adapt to." The neurons in my brain had seemingly failed to make new connections in facilitating my adaptation to this "alien land"...
That was until, "that girl" arrived, took a seat in front of me....catching my attention. The feeling that gripped me seemed kind of surreal...I had to dig down deep inside me and questioned myself " Come on, Terry, your heart has been stagnant for 5 whole years.....Why is it seemingly attempting to reignite itself again?This cannot be happening..." Though we had no explicit interaction throughout the whole lecture, I knew I was subconciously attracted to her....not because she was pretty, but because she had an aura of friendliness and distinctiveness around her that seemingly allured me to 'implicitly attach myself to her' on the first day of school. Just like new born babies who need to find their forms of attachment to their moms, I realized there was an urgent need for myself to possess some kind of internal attachment and motivation to keep my soul 'alive and kicking' in this seemingly new institution that I had qualified to be in. Subesequently, I would never fail to take a second look at her whenever I see her around in school though I don't even know her...I believe she'll never know who she is if I don't mention her name here, but I'm determined to make it stay this way...
"Thank you, 'perfect' girl. Your vibrance and distinctiveness have granted a stranger value-added hope and purpose to thrive on in NUS."
Somehow or rather, I think it's better to keep such personal emotions in that "happy section" of my heart/brain rather than taking pains to try know "her"...I believe such a choice/decision would involve taking risks that could possibly and permanently scar a dedicate part of my heart. Typical guys, brave guys would undoubtedly employ all sorts of tactics/strategies to know a girl they are interested in, but for me:
By simply being contented to see her from afar-her wonderful smile, her sociable etiquette and her ever-changing facial expressions, I believe this 'attachment view from afar' policy that I have adopted would undeniably accumulate memories of my university days as being those of bliss and happiness. =)
Thank you, "perfect" girl...
Love is not about finding a perfect person. It is about learning to look PAST the imperfections of the person n accepting him/her for who he is.
True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.