|Real Military Life Drama!|
So today I made myself unreachable. And it's actually making me kind of happy. I forwarded my house calls to my cell phone, and then shut the cell off!! All day! I still carried it with me...come on now, baby steps here...but it was off. No texting, no calls...no missed calls, no voice mails.
I went to class, and focused on what was going on...not texting! It was great!
I think I might try and finish out this WHOLE day without talking on the phone! That's a pretty big deal. My cousin, who also happens to be my best friend Nikki, we talk ALL THE TIME. I think she's going to have the hardest time with this. But I know that I won't be able to go much longer than one day! I'm a cell phone junkie. I really really am.
I just wanted to clear my head, and try to focus on things that I need to get done, rather than complaining on the phone all day about how i'm upset over my conversation with Rob last night. I'm thinking that I might have gotten a bit out of hand and taken it too far. I looked through my messages on myspace (that's where we e-mail each other) and I had been getting at least one a day, maybe one day would go by, but not more than one. Communication is a lot better than I say it is. And he's told me in every single one that he loves me, and that I'm his everything.
I think that last night he was just trying to joke around and I was being bitchy. Plain and simple. Grrrrr. I'm so stupid sometimes. I don't really mean to be. That's something I need to work on. I do realize it most times when I'm acting ridiculous, but sometimes it gets past me, like last night. I didn't feel too well yesterday to begin with, and I don't know what's the deal.
When I woke up this morning I had EVERY INTENTION of NOT emailing him, and waiting for him to make the first move. I even changed my settings so that you can't tell when I'm online, and you can't see when I last logged in. I really just don't want to people to know what I'm doing today. I don't know exactly what being a sneaky myspacer will do for me...but I did it nonetheless. I think I might send him a message tonight after all. I'm not sure though.
I might wait until tomorrow, I just don't know. I don't want him to think I'm mad at him, because I'm not...I"m just frustrated with every single aspect of this "situation" at this point. And I know that it's ONLY because it's getting so close. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, I'm just not close enough yet to enjoy it!
If they hadn't gotten pushed back already, he'd be leaving in around two weeks. But they've gotten pushed back a few days he told me. I think that's the truth. Rob loves to surprise me, but I told him that this time, would NOT be a good time to surprise me!! I just want to know when they're leaving...so I will know that in a few days he'll be home. It would be nice though if he had just said that so that out of no where he can call me and say "I'm leaving tomorrow!" That would be a GREAT surprise. If he called outta the blue and said "I just landed come and get me..." i might be a bit ticked...just because I want everything to be PERFECT for when he gets home. And for real...I wanna look hot!! We haven't seen each other in over 200 some days!!!
Anyway, I'll see if I can resist e-mailing him tonight. I don't think I will be able to.
I think I'm going to ask him if maybe he can call again sometime this week, so that I can re-do that. I fell bad that I was bitchy!
This Army life....it always keeps me on my toes!