Okay well i need some advice......
I've got an 17 year old sister that is in a "serious" relationship with a boy. They are "engaged" and it freaks me out. She is planning on leaving in april to move to IN, switch schools at the end of her senior year just to be with him. i think she is making a big mistake and is definately not ready to get married but any time i say anything she takes it offensively or just doesn't listen. is there anything that can be said and a way to say it that's going to make it sink in or do i just get to sit and watch her make the mistake. i guess my thing is that i think she's just using this guy to get out of this house and from the sounds of it he's just using her to get sex. Those are not good reasons to get married...trust me i got married for at least partially that reason and it's not turning out very well. i still wonder if we are going to make it.
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the best thing you can do, if you're going to talk to her, is do it in a non-confrontational, non-accusatory way. that is EXTREMELY important. just chat about it, letting her know you really care a lot, but let her know also that you realise she is free to make her own decisions - you just want to look out for her. she will always resist if you make her feel pressured or as though you think...
[pyroclasticlux]
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11/2/2007 11:53:28 PM
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I was in a similar relationship throughout all of high school (i'm now a junior in college)... despite my parents warnings I only dated one person... We have since broken up and I'm dating someone else, but only now do I realize they had a point. I still see possibly getting back together someday, but I would never have the perspective I have now had I not followed though with it on my own... [starzie12]
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11/2/2007 11:55:37 PM
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she's not old enough to make up her own mind. true, she more than likely isn't mature enough for that kind of thing, but at that age, we all felt we knew everything, heh.
you could suggest that she at least give herself a long engagement (ie a year or two); if she's that confident in the relationship, two years won't matter. (=
above all, be there for her.
i hope everything turns out well. (=
[pyroclasticlux]
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11/2/2007 11:56:27 PM
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Contrary to what most teenagers like to believe, they are not legally recognized as independent adults until they graduate high school or drop out. It doesn't just magically happen at age 18. She would have one heck of a time trying to transfer schools without parental permission, nevermind finding a job to support her newfound family with. A healthy dose of reality might be in order. [Second Impression]
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11/3/2007 12:01:16 AM
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So, as hard as it is, I think you at least have to make it seem to her as if she's making the decision herself, otherwise she will never really believe it. [starzie12]
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11/3/2007 12:02:03 AM
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