*sigh* i just dont know how much more i can take...the stress is really getting to me. mostly its the money thing, my blood pressure is high, and has been for a couple weeks. Master has given me a budget thing to fill out and i havent even had the time or patience to fill it out...why? because thinking about money makes my bp go sky high and gives me massive migraines to the point that i have to stop what im doing and lay in a totally silent and dark room for hours. things with ryan are going good :) so far...just taking things slow...my niece actually asked me yesterday afternoon when she came in to wake me up where "my friend" was i told her that he was at home. she said "oh ok" and left. she only came in to see him :P she's really taken a liking to him. and as far as justin goes...after only rarely hearing from him for a month he finally messaged me and we talked for a while tuesday night. told him why i thought it wasnt a good idea for me to see him when hes working in palmdale starting next week cause he said he wants me to. then he fell asleep while i was sending the messages and of course because he didnt respond my mind went the opposite direction and thought i really messed up telling him that...then around 1am he messaged me on yahoo and knew i was upset so he appologized and i know he didnt mean to do it...i blame it on my being a female that my mind does what it does, and i knew in the back of my head he was sleeping. so in the end, he and i are still good, and as far as i know he still wants me to see him, im not sure i will, but at least he doesnt think im crazy :P *sigh* i dont even have time to write everything i wanted to..damn being at work...i guess ill try to be back tonight...bye for now...