i absolutely love getting to write a blog about a new year! the feeling never fails to disappoint, i always approach it as a momentous occasion. i like to live firmly in the belief that with a new year brings a change to my bad habits, and there's the perfect opportunity for both relevant nostalgia and forward-thinking. ..!
i like making lists, so maybe it's best to name the things i'd like to alter slightly in 2008:
* lifestyle. i am not healthy, by any stretch of the imagination, although stopping smoking has made a big difference and something im quite proud of myself for. it has to be said that nigel has been a huge motivation in this, mainly because i always felt awful lighting up in front of him, as i know he's not exactly a big fan - it's also the little things, like kissing and tasting of smoke, waking up with him and being aware that i still stink of smoke - no amount of showering and scrubbing takes that away, no matter how careful you think you've been. it's a bit of a respect thing as well, i think people are genuinely impressed that i've quit. i do drink far too much, and contrary to the old "when you're old enough you'll get bored of it" speech, being 18 has probably not helped with that. a pub's a convenient place, you know. i do practically no exercise and this is something that definitely needs addressing if i'm to lose the extra pounds added by quitting smoking and my love affair with food in the past few months. basically a round-up of the generic new year's resolutions! :) i say these same things every year, i think most people do.
* self discipline and self control. most of the stupid things i've done this year have been due to lost inhibitions (normally alcohol induced) or a total apathy for the consequences of my actions. i think i've learned that you can't go through life like this, you hurt too many people, and i'm not happy with hurting people.
* materialistic independence. a bit of a strange phrase, but i basically mean i need to do more for myself, even simple things like cooking and cleaning - this kind of relates to lifestyle too, i guess. i need to up my game, especially if i'm off to uni.
* prioritise. something i was fucking appalling at last year! i spent evening upon evening sitting in dan's garage with the same group of people with the same amount/brand of beer with the same jokes, same topic of conversations, when i should have been doing something more productive. as a result i've wasted quite a lot of time, which is catching up with me, especially study-wise.
i also need to have a long hard think about what i want to do with myself after A levels. it eats me up thinking i have no solid plan, and as much as i know most people have no idea where they're heading, it's unsettling to be so up in the air about things.
i should also become more technically competent and download more illegal music. and become better with money. and become more in-tune with the world...
i could go on forever with the things i think i should change about myself but it's all irrelevant, most of these things won't change, long term anyway.