Monday, January 14, 2008
Cocaine Princess here. So sorry for the delay. To review:
Valentina turned to me and said 'what if Lawyer-Guy's already dead? ' I just looked at her strangely as she continued. 'A thought just came to me,' she said. 'What if a passerby, a jogger or someone walking their dog found a body in a ditch and then called the police. But the police are having a hard time identifying the body because the head is missing. And the body with the missing head is Lawyer-Guy.
'You call that a thought?' I asked. 'It wasn't so much of a thought as it was like a vision,' Valentina replied. 'It sounds more like an episode from CSI Miami,' I said. 'Why would you tell me something like that? You know I have trouble sleeping,' I reminded her. 'I'm liable to never sleep again. Do you know something that I don't?' 'I swear on my Gucci pump collection I don't know a thing,' she said back. 'You think your daddy's already done something to Lawyer-Guy?' I questioned. 'Most likely. He's never been known to procrastinate,' answered Valentina. 'So you think he will go through with something?' I asked. Valentina took both of my hands, looked me right in the eyes and said, 'Do you really think daddy's going to let something like this slide?' I nodded my head no. 'That's right,' she said agreeing. 'Daddy's words are like gold and he always strikes right away. If he says he's going to do something you can bet your life on it he will. Didn't you once say that karma has a way of biting you in the ass?' she questioned. 'Yeah, but-' I started to say. 'But nothing,' interrupted Valentina, 'whatever happens to Lawyer-Guy he deserves.' As we continued talking we headed back to our table. Valentina's daddy was on his blackberry again and there was no end to Valentina's teasing. 'I bet daddy's emailing his hit-squad and telling them in detail how he wants to get rid of Lawyer-Guy. Picture this: the police find him in his car dead. Cause of death, the Colombian Neck-Tie.' 'Thank you for that colorful description,' I said sarcastically.' As we sat down the restaurant's mariachi band started to play. I hate mariachi music. To me it's like nails on a chalkboard. I wanted to stuff my ears with the napkins. Thank God they didn't play for very long. When they finished the cliff divers made an appearance where guests could get their picture taken with them. I was quite surprised when I saw them. All the divers were no taller than 5'5 and all wore a gold cross around their neck which of course was understandable.
Valentina and I returned to the penthouse at around 3am. All I remember was getting under the covers. I woke up feeling so refreshed. I had such a fantastic night of sleep since, well I can't remember when and the only reason I did sleep is because of the champagne. My bedroom door knocked and Valentina let herself in. 'Good morning,' she said. 'Morning,' I said back. She was already in a bikini and cover-up. She sat on the bed beside me cross legged. 'What time is it?' I asked. 'It's a little after 2,' Valentina replied.'2 in the afternoon?!' I exclaimed. 'Yeah.' 'Why didn't you wake me up?' I asked. 'We didn't get back here until almost 3am,' she explained. 'I've been asleep for 11 hours,' I stated. 'Oh God!' '11 hours is nothing compared to the number of hours you haven't sleep,' Valentina commented. 'I have good news,' she went onto say.'I went online and visited your city's online local newspaper, Lawyer-Guy is still alive. At least I assume he is. I couldn't find his name anywhere in the obits.' I laughed a little but felt bad for doing so. After getting out bed and showering the two of us hit the beach. My Christmas vacation consisted of spending the mornings on the beach, shopping in the afternoon, having dinner with Valentina's daddy at the villa and in the late evening Valentina and I hit some of the city's nightclubs. We avoided the common nightclubs. Common meaning where the majority of North American tourists tend to frequent. Valentina can't stand their demeanor or the way they dress. A bunch of drunken idiots in jeans, t-shirts and running shoes.
I arrived back home on Saturday where the weather here is cold, rainy, grey and gloomy. The total and complete opposite of Acapulco. No one was home except for 'A' who was excited that I was back home. Truthfully I think she was more excited to see what I brought back home for her. She then informed me that another delivery had arrived for me that she again signed for. As I went up the stairs I thought what fresh hell has been delivered to me now. I went in my bedroom to see what it was. Uh-oh, another bouquet of flowers and a huge envelope.
I know all of you want to know what did Valentina's daddy do to Lawyer-Guy and what did Lawyer-Guy send me. I promise I will tell you in my next entry. Although I have a feeling that many of you already know what Lawyer-Guy sent me.