|Random thoughts of a TX Woman|
Only have a second.
I didn't go to counseling today. but called and talk to hotline again. I had to meet up with michael because he had important documents I needed for my ex ' s child support hearing. I made us meet at mcdonalds, made us go in and acutally had him buy me lunch. lol. I was hungry and had no money. bad. but I was hungry. Anyway.. at lunch he was nice. asked appropriate questions. He told me he wasn't going to church tonight. I made the mistake of reminding him that our pastor had to him to keep under counseling he would need to be at church every time the doors were open, unless he was dead or in the hospital. lol. He didn't like that. Said he knew it was an excuse but he wasn't going. He would be there sunday. I got up and had to leave, to which he said :well we didn't accomplish anything. I told him. he just did.
You see, he had accomplished letting me know that he wasn't willing to let God work, That he wasn't willing to submit to our pastor. Which also meant he wasn't wiling to change. I felt nothing for him. I had prayed all morning to God, to allow me to not feel love or emotion for him..if it was really over. And there was nothing. not even anger.
When We walked out, I got in my car and there he confronted me, ranting and raving.. :well is this it? is it over? I want a divorce! I''ll get the attorney! (abuser tactics) I told him that it was quite interesting to me that he wasn't willing to talk inside around people, but more than willing to verbally attack outside where no one could hear him.
I didn't go to counseling, because I knew I was ok.
What I did do.. was go to my local college and find out what I needed to do about getting my R.N. degree.
and my wedding ring is now off my finger.
God, I feel good.