Whoa, did not realise that I'd been away this long. Sorry for being so MIA and without an explanation. As soon as I write this, I will be reading all of your entries.
School is crazy and nothing in class makes sense to me anymore. I'm no longer the weird smart girl, I'm just the weird average intelligence girl. Ergh. The more I study for SACs, the worse my marks get so motivation, on a scale of 1-10, is -2835658899 at the moment.
I got sick last Thursday and stayed sick until Tuesday when I finally started getting better. It was just a cold but something's up with my immune system because I just couldn't get rid of it and then it got worse. I took Monday and Tuesday off school, sleeping mostly, and in the two days that I was away, I managed to miss three SACs. I did my psychology one yesterday (89% - should've been better) and maths today which I couldn't even finish. I felt like the biggest dumbass when the bell went and I still at least three questions to go. I'll be doing my health and human development SAC after exams next week.
Exams. Shoot me.
I only have psychology on Wednesday and then the GAT on Thursday but still. I'm sick of studying and I hate that if I mess this up, my after-highsschool life is fucked.
It's too much stress and everyday I just want to crawl under my doona until it all goes away. Or at least goes back to how it was a couple of years ago when I did well and was on the verge of actually enjoying studying. I was a freak.
I haven't talked to my dad in a month. Which, in my mind, is quite an achievement seeing as we live in the same house and since he quit his job a couple months back, he's constantly around. I guess I just got sick of his shit and finally snapped when he screamed at me for not understanding something (he tried to explain to me but couldn't because he didn't understand it either) and called me stupid etc. etc. Usually I would just storm off but I yelled some things at him first, then stormed off...and I haven't talked to him since. It's surprisingly easy but Mum had a bit of a go at me today about it. But I said I was sick of him always getting away with being a jerk and that I am not going to speak to him until he learns that just because he's 89476398425 years old, it doesn't mean he's above apologies. Basically, fuck him.
Nothing much has been happening, really. I've pretty much turned into a mushy puddle of stress and worry.
I've been to a few 18ths the past couple of weeks which have been fun. I can't wait till my 18th, you're all invited by the way ;)
I should probably go study...or at least open my books and pretend I'm studying.
Missed you all :)
P.S New favourite thing = A Very Potter Musical. How have I not discovered this awesomeness till only a few days ago? I've already watched it and the sequal. Loooove it!