Do you think I am jealous? I should be. I'm not. If you feel it is necessary for you to waste your time on a girl that means almost nothing to you, then so be it. I'd rather you waste your time doing that than waste my time with ridiculous sweet nothings next to my ear lobe. You drink, you have yourself a wild time - I am just amused by the fact that I know if you decide that you'd like to sleep with this girl tonight, just like every other girl you have been with since you've been with me, you can't find yourself to enjoy it.

Remember when you were with her? Do you remember her complaints? Do you remember when you told me that most of your fights were all about me even though I was very distant from you life at that time? I remember when you confessed to me that you had to think of times with me in order to have sex with her during that incredibly eye opening discussion we had the night that she punched you in the face, you had tears in your eyes when you told me this. You were embarrassed. I'll be honest, it made me feel a little strange, but - I can see why.

You do not deserve me. You never will.

But, tomorrow, when you wake up in the morning - I know exactly what you're going to do, whether anything happened the night before or not, you're going to reach over for your cellphone and text message me knowing I'm at work - you're going to say hello, and wonder how my day is going. This makes me laugh. I will laugh when I receive your message. You are a silly young boy trapped in a beautiful mans body. And that beautiful man is there, but he only seems to emerge around me.

I can not be around you constantly. You need to find yourself on your own. Let me know when you do, although it will most likely be too late. You're an idiot. And you know it. This is why you drown yourself with such scum ridden experiences. I think you should try reaching up rather than giving up and giving in. You're better than that.

Or maybe I'm giving you too much credit. Prove me wrong, you bastard.

In the mean time, I'll be here - moving up and out.