Well i had a manic day yesterday my sister and our brother in law where in a car crash some stupid woman plowed into the drivers side of my brother in laws car. they are both ok just battered and bruised but my sister had only come home from scotland for a dentist appointment and was due to travel back to scotland today by train and coach. obviously this would have been extremely uncomfortable for her and so to make her more comfortable my parents have taken her back and are going to stay up there for a few days to make sure she's ok. which basically means im running the show for the next couple of days im just praying to god nothing to complicated comes up cause my brain is fried this week and the computer is not my friend right now when it comes to work. which is a bit of a problem when you work for an internet company lol but its only a couple of days im sure i'll survive.

well although things didn't quite go to plan tt and my sister did meet last night although it was only briefly. then me tt k and n all went out for a drink. well i say that but once again i was a good girl and i stayed on soft drinks and i drove. i may actually change my name to designated driver lol! despite the fact it was the year anniversary of my nans death and my sisters accident we actually had a pretty good time in the pub. then i took everyone home and tt came back to mine. i wont go into major detail but well we had a pretty amazing couple of hours and then we were laying in bed talking at stupid o'clock this morning. we were talking about us and how we feel about each other and then he said the strangest thing he was telling me how much he loved me and that he would never hurt me and that he thought i was great then he turns round and says "im not the jealous type and i'll never act jealous but i want you to know it will take me a long time to trust you." what i dont get is where the jealousy thing came into it but how can he love me as much as he says he does if he doesnt trust me. that just doesnt make sense. i know his ex screwed him over big style and that she cheated on him and stuff so yeah he's bound to have issues but well my ex did the exact samething i mean he was shagging someone else while we were engaged and i was pregnant with his kid. but the worst part of it was he was doing it in my bed while i was out at work and he was sat at home being a bum. but despite all that i still trust tt because i know he's not my ex and i know he would never do those things to me. but how can he not see that im nothing like his ex. does he not understand ive been through pretty similar things to him and i would never put anyone through what we went through with our ex's cause i wouldnt wish that on my worst enemy. I know that i just have to give him time and he will come round by himself and realise he can trust me. but it just hurt to hear him say it especially when ive put aside all my insecurites to be with him and i trust him. i couldnt love him the way i do if i didnt trust him. that was the other thing that made it hurt aswell was he keeps telling me he loves me more than i love him which is really sweet but is clearly not true he cant be half as in love with me as i am with him if he doesnt trust me.