its been ages since i wrote had loads going on but nothing really major. ive stopped all contact with tnow and i only deal with his parents as this makes me life a lot simpler and means i dont get constant abuse.  things are going greatwith me and tt we are porbably sickening to other people but we are proper loved up and i love it. after weeks off mulling things over in my head since he started workingnightsi finally told him how i feel about the possibilityof him buying a house with n. i also confronted him on his commitment issuses and the fact he never wants kids. it went better than expected he said he just needs sometime 2 get over his trust issues and that one day he would like us to have a baby together & that he does love me and he wants us to get married someday.

on a bad note my parets have decided that they are going to be moving to norfolk and my baby sister her boyfriend and daughter are 99% certain they are going with them. one of my best mates k is planning on moving 2 scotland cause she's just had a job offer which will be so amazing for her. but on my selfish sidei hate it it finally feels like my life is on track and everyone who has been there as long as i can remeber is now leaving me. the thing is i know im still gonna have some really good friends here but those guys are my family my other sister already moved to scotland and now they r all going to. dont get me wrong i want them all to go cause i know individually its the best thing for each of them and above all else i want them to be happy. i love tt with all my heart and he is basically the only reason im staying. cause no matter where i live the friends i have now i will never lose touch with because they are like my extended family. i know tt would never leave rugby because of his kids and i would never ask him to so im staying because asmuch as it will kill me not seeing my family everyday the though of ending things with him to be with them hurts even more. i guess its timefor me to really take a stand on my own to feet and see how i cope without my safety net of the people who love me and know me the best being by myside everyday.