|After the Next Step|
Since the day I was born, I have never had a reason to go against anything my parents wanted or told me to do. A lot of my friends thought I was being too sheltered and obedient but that wasn't the case at all. I wanted to take the violin lessons, go to cram school, not stay out too late, etc. I had no problem with these things. Although I would feel resentful towards them sometimes when my friends got to do and have certain things I couldn't, I understood that they had their good reasons. Either it wasn't appropriate for my age or we couldn't afford it. Granted, there were moments where I snuck around behind their backs but at least I wasn't getting drunk or high.
After I left home for college, I didn't think about how my parents would change. When I returned home for vacations, I stopped receiving the lectures on how girls shouldn't stay out late and the million phone calls demanding to know where I was. It was a shock for me but I felt so liberated and grown up. I appreciated my parents for acknowledging my maturity. Meanwhile, my friends (the rebellious ones), their parents continued giving them the endless lectures and phone calls. I considered myself extremely lucky.
However, I am now at a point where I don't know what to do. I know what I want, but I don't know how to act on it. My parents expressed their wishes for me to move back in with them after graduating. It's not because they want to keep me close (though I'm sure they would love that) but so that I can work and save money to pay off my loans without having to worry about bills and rent. It's an idea that makes sense. Especially when I remember the struggle my older sister went through to pay off her loans while living away from my parents. I know they just want to make an easier situation for me.
But what do I want to do? I want to move back to my hometown where my boyfriend and friends are. (Of course, the cost of living is ridiculously high.) Ideally, I would like to find a roommate and live in an apartment with them for a while and maybe in a year or so move in with my boyfriend as I work as a teacher in some public school setting. (My boyfriend is in favor of this plan, of course.) He actually wants to live with me but I'm slightly hesitant. I want to live with him but the major factor that is stopping me is my parents. Let's try explaining to a Korean mother that her daughter wants to live her boyfriend before marriage. My sister gets an earful just by living with a guy who isn't even her boyfriend! As you can tell by now, she's the rebellious one.
*Backstory: I grew up with my family in a state in the Northeast. I went to school up here to stay somewhat near them yet far enough to live in a dorm. However, my parents decided to move down South to warmer climates two years ago. My sister lives in the South too but far enough that she can't visit too often.
Right now my boyfriend is living with his parents as he works. (He makes good money!) His parents and my parents have been friends since we were kids. It's probably their Korean parent dream come true that he and I hooked up. We've been together for nearly two years. So by the time I graduate it'll be almost three years we've been together. Not a bad time to move in together right? And the distance thing won't factor too much because we saw each other everyday as friends in high school (yes, we went to high school together) and he comes up every other week to see me.
Ok, so what I really want is to move in with my boyfriend.
I don't know how to explain this to my parents.. mostly.. my mom. And I don't know how to go against her because I've never done it before. That was my point.
My friends and my sister (and obviously my boyfriend) say do what you want.