I made it to Musicville! Normally living through a four hour car trip would not actually be an accomplishment - this one was. First of all, what should have been a four hour trip actually became a six hour trip. And it got started two hours later than I planed. Second, my muffler half fell off on the way, and I had to pull it off and keep driving without it. My ears were ringing for the rest of the night when I finally got out of the car. Third, I am not really sure I wanted to leave Capitol City and the great family I made there. That was the hardest part.
But I did it. I left everything. Again. I have been telling everyone that it is so much easier this time because I just did it once before. Parts of that is true. I was definitely better prepared for the GA search process as it was essentially the same as the internship search process. I was better prepared for interviewing, judging opportunities, fielding several offers, deciding what was important to me, and making a decision. I was also better prepared for finding an apartment in a city I didn't live in, transferring utilities, and preparing for a multi-state move. I was also prepared to cry all the way to the state line. I was also prepared to look for any way out I could find. Above all, I was prepared to feel completely alone and lost in a strange place. The difference is that being prepared didn't actually make any of it easier.
I still spent the every night second guessing my answers to interview questions. I still spent days agonizing over how much I should weigh each criteria. I still wonder if I made the right decision or if one of the other offers would have been better for me. I still don't think that I got the best deal for my money on my apartment. I still managed to have a ton of problems moving. I still cried all the way to the state line. I still wanted to turn around at every exit and head back. And I still feel like I am all alone in a strange place and I can't find anything. I really don't see how being prepared made any of it easier.
Maybe it is just knowing that it will pass.
Maybe that is how my experience is supposed to make it all easier. Just knowing that at some point in the future I will not want to run back home. I will not need an e-mail from my former supervisor, Aiden, just to know that I will be ok. That I will just know it.
Much Love From Princess