I wish i wasn't such a fuck up, i wish i was good enough for my daughter and husband, i wish i could be the person that they need. i wish i could just be another person, i wish i was good enough, all these things i want and i'll never achieve no matter how hard i try, i'm just a fuck up of a person. i wish greg could trust me. i wish we could just be happy toogether and get along. i hate myself.

why do i feel this way. im so negative i can't change the situation or even think of how it could be  changed.  i try just to be open and honest , but he gets upset so often when i talk its just getting harder and harder for me, i wish he could be open-mined. , just listen to me and help me instead of being against me. im such a stupid person. im pretty happy with my life right now, the only thing i feel is lacking and the thing i care about the most is me and sids relationship, if thats not going good , its so hard for me to be happy. i don't want to be that way cuz negativeness just makes the situation worst between us.  i know what i have to do , i just have to be open and honest with him , and once i do that if he gets negative over what i say i have to stay positive and be thick-skined.thats just the hardest part is just staying postive when hes negative.