|I Lost My Map|
Some things never change. Maybe, it's because I expect too much from people. Maybe it's because when I say something, I mean it - or when I tell someone I'm going to do something, you can count on the fact that it will be done... Is it wrong for me to assume people are telling me the truth when they say things?
My dad, although I love him dearly, he is unreliable. There have been several times, within the last two weeks alone, where I have called him or got a text from him saying he was on his way home. Fine, great, awesome. This is when I'm on my way to his house right after I get off of work, theoretically we should get to the house at exactly the same time. Does it happen that way? Of course not. So, I give him some extra time... He is always at the bar, so I give him the benefit of the doubt and actually expect him home. An hour goes by, is he home? Nope. I call him or text him. No reply, no response, no nothing. This goes on for a few hours, and when he finally gets home, he goes straight to bed.
This happens, probably 3 days out of the 5 day work week. The other two days? Oh, get this, he usually spend that time in bed sleeping or watching TV.
But he says he doesn't want me to move to Pennsylvania, he's going to miss me. Blah, blah, blah. I'm here right now! Spend time with me now! Seriously, if I had the money, I would be out in Pennsylvania already. Dammit. Why must my vehicle suck? Why must I have all of these complications hindering me from achieving my goal?
Then, there's my mom. She puts up with an abusive relationship every single day of her life. Why she doesn't just divorce him, I will never know. She, too, spends way too much time at the bar. Seriously, it bugs the crap out of me.
For example, yesterday I had off of work. I expected to spend some time with my mom. I woke up, after sleeping in a little late, to find that my mom wasn't home. So, I called her... She didn't answer the first time. So, I called again and she answered. Guess where she was? At the freaking bar at 11:30am... and she was intoxicated! Although, she said she was on her way home because she was hungry, and we were going to get something to eat. So, fine, she gets home at almost noon, gets a very intoxicated husband of her's to finally go to bed because he was so out of it from accidentally taking too many sleeping pills because he forgot he took them already. (I believe he took 3.) So, my mom gets him to bed...and then she falls asleep herself! Seriously?! You just said we were going out for lunch. So, I woke her up, she said "Give me 30 minutes." Then said, "Give me 15 minutes." Then finally, "Give me two minutes." I brought her up some water and ibuprofen because her head hurt. After all of that, though, it was after 2pm when we finally went out to lunch.
Seriously, I can't depend on anyone in my family.
It's like, why did I move back out here? Nobody really acknowledges the fact that I'm here; that's not the point, I know... I came here to get myself situated and better prepared for life, but honestly? It's all so discouraging.
Then, my sister... She only wants something to do with me when she wants something. Money, a ride, whatever. Ha! I'm supposed to wake up at 6:30am every morning, get out of my warm bed, drive to my dad's house, all just to take her to school because she's to lazy to get out of bed at a decent time to get ready and make it to the bus. Whatever. I put an end to that a few days ago, and I'm so glad I did.
Just this afternoon, she sent me a next saying, "WTF Sam. You ate my pizza. Why? That pizza was for me, I bought it with my own money. You can buy me a new one now."
Ugh. I'm so ready to get the hell out of Wisconsin.
Oh! And one more thing that's bugging me... My GRANDMOTHER. I have her added on facebook, okay? She sees that I'm online and instantly sends me messages. Well, the app for facebook isn't working correctly... It hasn't for a long time, and lately I haven't been getting any notifications at all. Or, if I do, it's hours late. Okay, the app is *very* selective. Anyway, she's pissed at me because she thought I was ignoring her. After I did realize that she was trying to get a hold of me, I commented back. She didn't comment back right away, so I went to bed. Apparently, she "gives up" now. UGH. Sorry, grandma... You're too old to have facebook. Besides, this is getting really annoying. Oh, wait, she also wants me to call her too... But her lack of cell phone would cost me money to call her. Don't worry, grandma, I'll be there for Christmas next Saturday. GEEZ.
Okay. End vent.