Rayne turned two years old today.  I can't begin to describe how quickly that time passed me by and I can only imagine how fast the years to come will be underfoot.  I have nothing but love and pride for what a beautiful person she's becoming.  I find it amazing how defined her personality and interests already are, and even though I shouldn't be surprised by anything she does anymore... she continues to astonish me.  I think about her future a lot even though the pages are blank and there is no way I can fill in the empty parchment.  I try not to have unreasonable expectations but I do know they are high... shoot for the stars and all that.  I only hope I have strength to give her my all. 

I realized today just how deep a mask I wear for the world.  Usually I say "I have no regrets, things happen for a reason and they make who I am today."  I know differently now.  I do have regrets, but it is not the negative thing I thought it to be before.  It is because of those regrets that I have pushed myself to be better.  I regret the days I was lazy and unmotivated, and didn't give her the attention she needed or deserved.  I regret the times I yelled or became very frustrated when I know she didn't mean to hurt or upset me.  Sometimes I forget her innocence and treat her too much like an adult. 

My new year's resolution is the same as it is every year, to better myself.  I want to learn, be challenged, and grow.  I know I always have the capability to be a more loving, honest, and giving individual.  I remind myself daily that the encouragement, love, and trust that I show my daughter will play a huge part into the foundation of who she becomes.  I pray that what ever experiences have been chosen for her, no matter what hardships come her way, I'll be able to give her what she needs to make it in this world... and not only survive, but flourish.