9:34pm

had a really busy day at work today.  Same tomorrow, except... tomorrow's Friday! Thank god.. but I'm working on saturday.. only a half day though and I won't have to do it again for another 6 weeks or so.  

I've been thinking about Brad a fair bit this evening.  Just... what we had.  It's hard for me to think that it was all just a good time for him... I was just some company.  It does sting a little.  Not much anymore.  My friend LM told me that I have every reason to be upset (this was last week when he called me up to see how I was)... he said that from the outside, to everyone else, we were the happiest couple.  I wish it was as before... that I finish the day and could drive over and spend the night with him.  

I still remember the Friday when I came home.  When we went for coffee and he told me he was leaving... and going out with him and his work colleagues that night.  He told me over and over again how much he missed me when I was away, and how happy he was that I was there.. or here..with him.  He held me close and was so very sweet.  Okay..mind you he had a lot to drink too... wish this was all just a bad dream.