britney was fun last night. i didn't go to hear a beautiful voice, i went to see britney spears. she lived up to (and exceeded) all the expectations i had for a britney spears concert. the pussycat dolls weren't as bad as i had thought they would be. plus they sung jai ho (from slumdog millionare) which was my highlight of their set. i went crazy when it came on. i danced probably with the most excitement i did all night. during britney's set, although it was full of surprises (everytime, touch of my hand, the fun bollywood reworking of me against the music), i wasn't so much into dance towards the end. i don't know if it was because i had been dancing for awhile prior to the set or the fact that i had some awkward father/daughter sitting next to me. i didn't feel like dancing while i was next to them.

i don't know whether it was the large venue crowd, being with people i haven't been with awhile or maybe being tired, but i felt a bout of anxiety at some point during the show that is somewhat continuing in my life today.

i was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder back in eleventh grade.. which is about three-ish years ago. of course, i had obvious symptoms before then, including a terrible wave during a trip to disney world the summer going into eleventh. i just remember being incredibly frightened of thinking. i would blast music to drown out the intrusive thoughts.

the problem with ocd is that people believe what they see in the media. it's not just about being incredibly organize; i am living proof this is not true. my room is total chaos all the time, but i suffer from the condition. my mother always says to me "you don't really have it," ... i can't tell if she is joking or not. i guess she just needs to be educated, however living with me for nineteen years i would think she would know by now. why would i want to be taking anti-depressants to supress the illness? she knows how i feel about being on them. i just don't get her sometimes.