There are so many secrets im keeping inside my head. i cant take it. i need to tell someome..something..
I have so many things about owen i wanna tell reba...im scared she wont listen..or she'll get mad at me for bringing him up..and now for some reason i miss him more than ever. i started keeping his suicide note in my pockets again. i need to get rid of it.
It just seems like..i have no time with reba..but then she has all the time in the world with her other friends..im not jelous.. im not mad at her..i just miss her and really need to talk to her..and im like bawling my eyes out just writing this..
what i hate is that the time i really really needed her..we wern't friends..im not sure when we stopped being friends..it was the time owen killed himself and i kept that inside me a long time...i just really feel like his death is all my fault..and katherine was telling me over IM that it will be okay.
i dont wanna hear that. becuase i know it wont! i want someone to hug me and just comfort me.. i really doubt any of my friends would do that...miranda would.but i rarely see her..and same with reba.. i wanted to talk to her so bad the fourth of july..i was too scared she was just gonna get mad at me and stop talking to me..wow im still crying my eyes out writing this...im so freaking pathetic..reba has always been there for me..except that time we were in a fight..it was when i really needed her.
i just want a friend that i could spend every weekend with to gossip.
i just want a friend that would hug me and comfort me and i'd do the same with them.
i just need a friend once to tell me that they have no idea what they would do without me.