|Free me from these chains|
Ten minutes ago your taxi arrived to take you to the airport. We chatted for a few minutes before it came and then you gave us all big hugs and left. Now you're gone for good. The house is empty without you.
Last night we stayed up til 5am and the two of us talked about things big and small until the sun rose and birds were singing. It was one of the most enjoyable and memorable conversations I've ever had. I'll always remember something you told me to help me with my situation with my ex - "Distance makes you forget". We have been so close these last couple of weeks that the rest of this year now seems like a warm-up. We arranged to write to each other every once in a while, and I really hope we can stick to that. The thought of losing contact with you is unreal.
This hasn't ended like I orignally planned it to. I planned to slowly drift away from you until you left, and then not contact you at all afterwards. Somewhere along the line, I changed my mind. I decided I wanted to keep you as a friend. But I feel, at least for the most part, that I can do that now without any undue romantic interest. And that's the best-case scenario. It will be a while still before those feelings truly fade, but I think I found a good balance.
I'm still not sure if it's a good idea to come and visit you. Every time you asked me I said of course I'm coming, but I don't want to come if all this will start to repeat itself. I'll know soon enough though. Hopefully I can come, it would be lovely to see you again. But that's not for 2 months, and no way am I going to start looking forward to that right now.
You're gone now, and all this can come to an end. The heartache, the jealousy, the sadness and the frustration. The rusty chains around my heart. All these negative feelings will start to disintegrate, leaving just the happy memories behind. And there are many happy memories. I am so glad I met you this year, I've never had a friend like you before. I'm missing you already.
Goodbye Ana :)