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M and I are both coming down with a sickness. There has been one passing through my office, and I've been fighting it off, but we're both feeling pretty terrible today. I had to go to dinner last night with Lisa and Alira. Lisa broke up with her long term boyfriend just after Christmas. They're living together, but this week is crunch time and she's hassling him to sort his finances out so they can work out what to do with the house they own together. So, she's a bit fragile. I really didn't want to go to dinner because we can't afford it, and I knew I was getting sick. But it was a nice dinner. It was an expensive place, of course, *rolls eyes*. But I got away with a $15.50 entree (no thanks, I WON'T upgrade to a main), $5 for my share of breads, and $4.50 for my soft drink. I think, actually, that I ordered the cheapest food I possibly could at that place. Lisa was wanting to get drunk and go out dancing, which Alira and I just weren't. We went to a pub for a drink afterwards, then I went home. What bothers me is that Lisa was so fucking insistent. I must have said, "No, I've got to go home and study, I can't stay out" 10 or 15 times and each time she just said, "No, you're coming out dancing." Once or twice is a way of gently insisting that I go out. I get that. 10 or 15 is acting like my fucking mother and ignoring everything I say, just so that you get what you want. Fuck off. It really got on my nerves. I don't really want to see her tomorrow. I need a break. From work, from friendship. From everything, really. I made some decent headway on my study today. But nowhere near enough. And of course, I am thwarted by not having textbooks again. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I am really stressing about it. I need to just do what I can, and in two weeks I will be able to afford at least one book. I have another book viewable online, so will have to deal with that. Deep breaths. It will be okay, it just doesn't feel like it right now. Oh boy, I feel shitty. I really need to feel better. I can't take the first half of the week off because I have a big settlement due. I had already been thinking about applying for next Monday off work so I can try and tackle some more study, I think if I start to feel worse than I do now, I will apply for Friday off as well. Time to rotate the roast potatoes. We're cooking our usual Sunday dinner. It's nice to spend a little extra time preparing dinner, instead of the usual rushed affair when I get home from work.
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