I like the feeling of improvement that I've had over the past couple weeks. I feel this intense will to move forward; to get out of my cyclical behavior of, for lack of a less dramatic word, destructive behavior.
Nearly every moment that I spend with Brandon is better than the last and I am sure that he has had a great impact on my happiness. I wish sometimes that I could make him understand how much I appreciate him. I get sad some days just because I'm away from him. But I am even more saddened when he is sad - when he feels that he isn't doing enough or isn't good enough. The worst is when there is really nothing I can do. In the end I have to think that he knows I love him and, at times, that is all I can give.
On an unrelated note. Yesterday my friend Holly posted a message about a kitten that she got but then found she was allergic to. The situation really sucked for her, but I ended up getting the most adorable and loving little creature I have ever encountered. And for free! (Although I did buy her two packs of clove cigarettes for her to give her on a later date. They are her favorite and, since they are being discontinued especially, I thought it would be a nice surprise.)