Dear Diary,

                 New Year was simple.It went cleanly and expectedly cheerful for everyone.Every Filipino is now smiling,I am sure.But I wonder,why am I excluded here?I don't know how it began,and I even don't know where it ends.I just know that when midnigtht came,I clutched my pillow more tightly as I laid down on my bed.The emptiness I feel stretched out for miles,even reaching the distant stars.I could hear fireworks outside,I could hear people laughing and chattering happily.It only made me more miserable---my tears rolling off my cheeks and my head beginning to reel.I expected more---I expected the best.Turns out the rain fell hard unexpectedly and I was caught drenched.Wet.Miserable.Alone.Well,I should have expected things weren't going to change.In fact,I should have expected nothing at all.I would always be simple,normal Trix whose goals are undecided and her future a big black hole.The light that showed me the way is now gone,blown by the wind,I guess.A wind I caused because of my wrongdoings and mistakes I have made which seems as unforgivable.In other words,I am lost right now.All I could say is "I don't know" and even though I feel stupid for saying it repeatedly,I can't say anything else(probably because I am really stupid).Now you may think I am just being a drama queen,or an Academy~award winner for the words you could read right now from me'but before you throw judgments at me,I must say that life is never easy and beneath it there are more layers of truth.Which,right now,I am dealing with.I am still young(hehe,12)and still has many problems to deal with while I journey on my chosen path.The sitch here is I don't know what path to take and as you can tell,I am confused.Of course,like every other student out here,they follow their parents' wishes and wants since if they don't follow it,the parents will get angry("We're older,we know what's best for you!"Ever heard that familiar line?).Although I want to follow my own self(because it's my life,anyway),I can't do anything right at the moment because I am still a child,no matter how you look at it.I don't know how things will go from now on,so if you have read my entry,I thank you for doing it and hope you read more(even though I am new).