|Life is pushing my swing|
1. Further alienation
2. The bar
This time, it is by choice. Unlike the times before, I am now making a proactive decision to cut the f*ckers out of my life.
Bri is back in town. Previously my close friend, she dropped me from her life as soon as she left for school. Texting, fb messages, she rarely responded. When she came back to town for a weekend, she wanted nothing to do with me. It's been months since we've spoken, and now she's back. Without a word. Which, quite honestly, suits me fine because I don't have the time for fair weather friends. What is stirring this up is because I know, one of these days, I'll get a happy-go-lucky text from her like we're best friends.
I looked past her constant hitting on my boyfriend. I was there for her through all her crappy relationships. I was the best friend I could be, and it wasn't enough. I called it quits months ago, and I stand by that. Even when she inevitably texts me again
She comes back to town, and sees our mutual friends. Who are now her friends, might I add. Thanks to the lovely Jenna / Vanillie factions. You are on one side, or another. The end of our friendship created teams, and even though I wish it didn't work this way, you only belong to one team. And Bri drifted to Jenna. Fine.
Maybe I'm angry about always being used as a friend, and treated like shit. Maybe I'm jealous of these people who end up with my friends. I don't know.
I can be the best of friends, but it isn't enough. Gossiping, dramatic, back-stabbing teenage girls will always be the same. And should they wish to group together and form a little bitch brigade, I can't stop them. But it just proves how high school they all still are, gossiping and dropping friends. And just like high school, they'll want to be friends again at some point.
I've got news ladies. I'm already long gone.
On the same subject, I need to write about the chaos that was Jenna and I one of these days. The old entries mentions bits and pieces, but our destruction isn't really written out. Quite a fun story.
However, my story is a lot different than the version floating amongst my acquaintances.
So, Brandon hates the idea of me going to the bars. He gets super defensive about it as soon as I bring it up. I tried discussing it tonight, and he insists he doesn't get defensive because he thinks I'll go bar star.
I think that deep down, even if he doesn't realize it, he's terrified that I'll leave him for the bar life, or go hook up with some buff bar slut.
As soon as bars are brought up, he becomes very insecure. I need to figure out how to fix that.
I think tonight I begin work on the Jenna Chronicles.