So I've made the mistake of dating a work colleague, well not so much as a colleague, more like my team leader, my team leader who has just become a trainee manager...

I have this silly habit of falling quickly in love, its been just 3 months, and yes, I think I'm fallng in love, but I'm learning to control myself this time round which is just as well seeing as he has put things on hold due to 'being in a bad place right now'. A place that see's him in a constant bad mood angrily breaking doors and chairs in his house, unable to sleep and constantly cancelling on me then texting me the next day telling me about his day out with his friends instead.

I tried to break it off with him but he won't have it, he wont let me be to sort out my feelings for him and for him to sort himself out, he is slowly breaking me heart. He won't see me out of work again or kiss or even have any form of physical contact with me until he has sorted out his issues which still remain unknown to me, yet he insists on texting me on my days off when I try to forget him about how he cant stop thinking about me. He also insists on taking his lunch and breaks at the same time as me to spend them with me.

I explain I will wait for him to sort himself out and we should leave each other alone in the mean time, I am falling in love and it is breaking me to spend every lunch together and I can't even kiss him or hold his hand. I sit in the park with him at lunch after he followed me out when I said I dont want to be around him and all I want to do is kiss him and be like we were only one month ago, but we cant cause he's not in that place right now and its killing me, very slowly and very painfully.

Why did he have to text me today to say he was thinking about me a lot? He's playing with my feelings and he know he his, he is doing it well. I refused to have sex with my very good looking friend who tried it on with me the other night while staying over, I even rejected the advances of my work mate whose been trying it on with me every day last week, even another manager who  has had a crush on me for the past 6 months which everyone know about apart from me has been trying it on with me, normally I would have slept with at least 2 of them, but my heads to messed up, I'm just not in the mood.

This other work mate who has left for somewhere else who I slept with is coming over sometime soon, he's expecting a shag again, I dont think I can, this is highly unlike me, refusing so many men and not sleeping with at least one has made me realise my feelings for my on hold boyfriend are deeper than I thought, much deeper, for once I am the one experiencing the unrequited love, not the object of it and I dont know how to hande it when he insists on being in my personal life still.