why is walking into a meeting such a hard thing to do? i have tried twice now...but i just sit and cry i the car instead. what is my problem??? why cant i keep it together long enough to just walk in? i keep thinking i didnt have it so bad...that i am making mountains out of mole hills....but i read other people's posts and it sounds like they have been watching my life for the past 4 years and are stealing pages from it. and i think....how could these people go thru such sh!#....but its been my life too.

he has told me it isnt bad...that i make it worse...that he has changed...that he isnt using or dealing and things arent as out of control like they were in the beginning....and that i should give him credit for that....and its all about me...and im too controling....and just want to ruin his fun...i just want to F off his high...and thats all he has left....so i start believing it...OMG what is my problem!!!!