sometimes i wonder what would happen if i told the truth all the time and what were would my friendship go if i told him i was living the double life and i bet he wouldent take it that bad if he dirent hate the fake real part of me if he found out all those things that pissed him of were coming from me what would he say what would he think of me and thats just gibby what about john he only tailked to once on facebook and sudently i think he has a big crush on me well i feel like im berly just berly floting in the middle of fire and if i keep picking the wrong choise i will stop floting and get burn in my own flame i know everyone feels like this but common is it really this ofter that it happens to everyone and liam he is a player that seems to get all the girls or at least i think and to me it seems like he looks at girls bodies not there faces and he just takes advantages of them and i don't want to be one of them but i just can't help but fall in there trap and it would be easier to ignore if they werent cute like i say they are also dany to me he is perfect smart cute funny athletic lovable and just normal and amaziong in diffrent ways but i keep thinking he likes me but just as friends and that thought kainda kills me and thats why i hate to think about him but then ifi dont i just suddently lose control and i lose myselfin him and therreis also mike he likes this girl named mary and her twin sisster nataly and nataly is my friend or at least i supose and i think mary thinks im wierd oh well and i had a crush onhim 4 quite a long time but suddently i dont like him anymore but if i dont see him i questionmyself and i start loving him and then i geyt that feeling like im floting in the middle of fire and alll this love or crushes are going to crushcrushcrush ,me and im ganna burn myself in my own flame and dont even get me starded in my friends my bff or she is supoly supose to be bff is karina and we known eachother ever since i moved into the trailer park in 1st grade eva sinse we been unseprable and now that we are in middle school she has a new bff and i am getting replaced by adrian and to make thingas worse she ismy friend first and everytime adrian cant do somthing for her or she messed with karina...used me as her back up bff and i dont do nothing about her because i love her and im affraid to lose her and as much as i try to get a new bff nobody can replace her which is wierd cuz i feellike she replaced melike 100000 times and i ju8st hate that feeling o well ill just keep trying my best but i donytknbow if i can do that cuz i also get the feeling like im flotinginthe middle of fire and if i try to hard i mite fall and get5 burne ion my own flame i juast dontknow what to do anymore(sorry for my spelling i was typing this really fast)

                   --closedeyesopenbook