|The Days of University & Me|
Well... it would seem normal to start an online diary about university on my very first day really, but simply enough it just didn't cross my mind.
I guess today was just different to every other day as it has seemed quite negative. The past couple of months has included many positive events pretty much throughout, however now things are just so gloomy. Yes... the first piece of drama that is happening at my first year of university.
One girl is all it took... one girl to twist the smallest thing in to about a million.
Okay so here is the story... last week me and my flatmate Miss A-S went upstairs to the flat above for pre-drinks before a night out. Here is where we see Miss B-L and Miss B-M, girls we know but yet aren't amazing friends with yet, but we thought we would branch out and socialise more as we have nothing to lose. We get on with them really well, no negativity whatsoever. Then we bump into our flatmate Mr J at the club and he ends up taking Miss B-L back to our flat as she is crying and is very upset. Meanwhile back at the flat is Miss A-A. As the two arrive back home, she wonders what is going on and makes a joke to me about them sleeping with each other, but knew full well nothing was going on. Miss A-A tells her friend the story about how she thought she heard people "enjoying themselves" but it was just our flatmate snoring. This boy twists the story completely and this then leaves us with our result we have today. Miss B-L is thinking me and Miss A-A hate her... (where I came into this, I have no idea)... but she is creating all this gossip and drama up in her mind just for attention. Apparently I am hostile around her... apparently I told the guy she was previously sleeping with that she liked Mr J... apparently I like this guy she was previously sleeping with... and apparently Miss A-A spread rumours about her... none of this is true.
Doesn't it seem all a little bit secondary school to be having to put up with this sort of drama when I am finally an adult? I never had to put up with pathetic drama like this when I was about 15! When someone begins to act like this in such a tight-knit environment it easily affects people as you just can't run away from it. You can't just go home from school and prepare yourself for tomorrow... no! It is there when I wake up, when I have my lunch, when I have my dinner, when I visit my friends, when I'm trying to relax, when I go out to have fun... You can't get away! It's frustrating.
However, there is always a silver lining to everything... if I wasn't friends with this girl... or "friends" (inverted commas used for sarcastic essence)... I wouldn't have met Mr M.
Mr M is a new guy in my life.
When I say a new guy, I don't mean boyfriend or soon-to-be-boyfriend... I have know him for 8 days. But I already have feelings for him... admittedly they aren't strong but still they are there right? I am such a little girl when it comes to guys and dating etc. but I just can't help it! I'm not sure how he feels though, I am getting quite mixed signals from him I guess.
Yesterday he came out in the cold and pouring rain whilst he was supposed to be important work for his course while I was having a cigarette just to chat. And it was only supposed to be while I was having it and then I was expecting him to return back to his flat and carry on with his work. But no... we were standing in the rain, freezing cold and darkness for about 40 minutes just talking about random crap! But then he awkwardly walks away without as much as a goodbye.
I know I'm naive... I know I over think... but what do I do in a situation that is so early on like this. I guess I just still have some growing up to do. But I will still see how things progress with Mr M as he seems to be someone that I need... someone new, refreshing, easy to be around right from the start, and polite. He doesn't seem like other guys, when we were both drunk together he doesn't make any kind of disgusting move... he tells me how nice it was to meet me and gives me an amazing hug goodnight... but that could also mean how UN-interested he is.
Well... all I can think of now is that I am visiting home for the first time in two months tomorrow. I get to see my family, all my friends and experience every home comfort just for two days and I will never appreciate anything more than this special moment. I am making my dad feed me vegetables when I get home... I am making myself see all the people I love over this short little amount of time.
It's going to be ... Amazing.
Well... as far as first entries on a diary go, I think this is pretty all right... perhaps it was a late start as there is still other stuff I left out purely for my poor little weak fingers that can't type for very long. Goodnight all... let's see what happens tomorrow....x