|obstacles on my way2 happyness|
Well hello everyone. thanks for finding me under Frodo's bed and welcome to my electronic life. hope u all enjoy. =) okay, so first diary entries are always confusing. which is actually pretty appropriate because today was a freakin confusing day. Now let me back up a little.
For those of you who don't know me on here (which is everyone-hopefully), here is a short re-cap on wat has happened in my life so far: i turned 20 in march, graduated junior college in may with 2 A.A degrees, and will start as a 3rd year transfer student at ucr in the fall. I just got a job last week working at the uv towers as a community assistant, and am all set to finally move out and be on my own. The guy I was crazy about is apparently not into me anymore which is regretablly sad, but il get over it. Anyways, I've been talkin to this other guy for almost half a year now and eventho there is nothing offical there, i basically consider him my boyfriend and we have kind of an understanding to not see other people. We started out as friends which was good, and developed a relationship slowly. The only problem is that, we have virtually nothing in common besides where we went to school, and are seriously from like 2 different planets.
We do have lots of chemistry tho- idk how to explain it- i like hanging out with him and we always have a good time, but lately, I have been getting more upset everytime we hang out due to his apparent lack of affection. We talked it out today- a nice healthy kind-of-argument about everything. I told him how i hated that he was so serious, and he told me how he hated that i was always trying to make jokes. I am mega affectionate right away, and he is just kind of barely, slowly affectionate. My favorite music is hard rock, and a while ago he listened to nothing but rap. I hang with a crowd of people who drink and smoke and he is super straight edge all the way. Anyways, that's not the point.
To be honest, i've avoided introducing him to my friends because i know that he wont like them and they wont like him. He doesnt like wat they do for fun, and im sure they wouldnt like that he was so serious and not as fun. Then when im alone, my best friend and sis ashley says "if you guys are so different and have nothing in common, then why are u with him? he's not right for you. you deserve someone more like you." I am left with no response and this makes me wonder: is she right? is ur soulmate really ur other half in the flesh, or do the laws of physics conquer all when they say that opposites will always attract nomatter wat? I just dont know.
This diary/blog thingy is titled: Obstacles on my way2happyness because-it is really i that stands in the way of my own happiness. i really have no freakin clue about anything, except that i want 2 things for sure: to be happy and to be successful. I honestly don't know if I can be one as well as the other at the same time. That is my goal. If you think about it, it shouldnt take me too long to be successful, but wat if it takes me all my life to find happiness tho? Now that would be just depressing
There are only 3 things i fear in the world. They are: Being unhappy in the end, not being in control of my life and my decisions, and ofcourse, the anti-climatic spiders. Wooohooo
Well its sunday 5:13 am and i have just officially labeled myself as an insomniac because i just cant sleep at all- I think too much so there's always something on my mind. Eric (my guytalking to kind of dating bf) starts college again on monday. Although its sad that im moving to work in riverside, i know that this is a test, and the only way to know once and for all if this so called relationship in progress is going to work or not. Well i think thats good for my first post- i guess il keep you guys posted (HA GET IT?-posted! lmao) then as things progress. im out-NOW im tired. catch you guys later!