Yesterday I was my old self again. I was happy. It scares me that it took three days for me to get that way, but I did get back to who I'd like to be. I don't like being so upset, especially when I know I'm vastly overreacting. I realize that I acted like a brat, and I really hate when I get that way, but for some reason, I couldn't help it. I couldn't make myself stop crying or being so upset, so when people told me to "handle it...you're acting like a little kid", they were right, but I just couldn't do it. Telling me to handle something does not miraculously make me able to handle it, unfortunately. Eventually though, I was okay ((obviously)). DK helped a lot, like a lot a lot, as did my prayers, I'm sure. I've been reading a lot, putting together this 1000 piece puzzle, and coloring. I've also been playing my piano. I even wrote another song. It's more of an angry song, so it's a little different than all of the other songs that I've written. I also went to the Ruby fireworks display Saturday, which probably helped lift my mood even more. There's just nothing like sitting on the hood of your car ((with Mom)) and watching bright lights explode across the ink black night sky. *Sigh* I'm really glad that I'm finally feeling better, and I'm sure that everyone around me is glad too. Hopefully, when I finally get to try them, the birth control pills will help regulate my emotions, although there is a chance that they could make it worse. I'll just play it by ear, when the time comes. Today marks 39 days until Mexico gets back. It also marks that he's been gone for a week. Well, later on today, at like 6 it will. I'll be so glad when he comes back
home. I mean, back to Coker. Dang, I mean when he gets back to me. There. I'll also be happy when he's able to get online again, which will come much faster than him actually being in my arms. I should be able to talk to him by Wednesday, so I'm good . I'm a lot stronger now that I've had my little ((huge)) meltdown. I can be an adult about things now, hopefully, but only because I was allowed to act like a little kid. Sometimes, you just need to be babied. You need big hugs, and lots of them, and bedtime stories, and someone who refuses to leave you alone...Sometimes you just need to know that you're not going through this alone, that you don't HAVE to handle it alone, and that you are loved. I am so glad that I had people that would show me that. I'm still praying like crazy, of course, and I know God is with me always, but sometimes it just takes a physical manifestation of God's love to show you how much you are truly loved. So I'm good, thankfully, and I should be a lot more upbeat, hopefully. I'm going to try to enjoy my day today. T-minus 13 hours and counting.