Okay,

It's hard not for me to get defensive, if it was the other way around, you would be too, but again, I'll try.

I didnt change my skype password, never did, even just checked it to make sure, and it's still the same. The person your refering to on skype, is Angela -Kibble, who the ONLY time I've ever talked to on skype was when we were in a 3 way with her. I have no idea why she suddenly showed no contact info, if she deleted her skype account, anything, I was the same as you, woke up one day, logged skype..and there it was.

As for that Ernestina girl, she's now deleted. I agree a lot of her posts are OTT and innapropriate, but she did also used to post a lot of music too, so I let it slide, but after that random PM the other day, I dunno, it just made me feel uneasy, so she's gone.

Yes a person can have a million accounts on anything and everything. I dont. I have my 2 MSN emails, which you know about, and a google account for youtube. I deleted EVERYTHING and anything else. I dont talk to anyone else but you. I rarely talk to Gemmy anymore incase you think there's something going on there, which makes me feel pretty shitty, as we've been friends for years. Hell, I dont even talk to Brian or Jamie anymore.

I cant help what time my parents make dinner, I'm asleep, they decide, and wake me. But no matter what time it is, I eat..and come log on. Half the time I'm still trying to wake up when I start talking to you.

You REALLY need to drop the whole toni thing. Your holding onto it like a dog with a bone. what ever happened between her and I, it was ALL before you, had nothing to do with you. But, as you dont seem to be able too, I'll tell you a couple of things. It was TONI that wasnt in a situation where I could go visit, not me. It wasnt me that was stringing her along, it was the other way around. It was me sat here, waiting for her to contact me every day, only to get one, and then not hear one word for weeks or even months at a time. It was me that was fed the bullshit of..I just need to do this or that..then I can move. Which, obviously, never happened. And no, Toni's never played PWI.

I hate this, I feel like my whole past life, which, lets face it, has nothing to do with you, was before I even knew you, is completely under scrutiny. I feel like I have to log every minute that I'm not actually 'with' you, so you dont get parranoid. Quite honestly, thats partly the reason why I am feeling a little stir crazy right now, because ALL I do, is work...couple of hours in the morning on music...sleep...and talk to you.

There really isnt much more I can do to be transparent Mindy, I've given up, shut down, deleted, or walked away from everything and anyone else to try ease your fears and suspicions. That really, there is NOTHING else for me to give up..apart from my music, and you might as well ask me to just give up my life in which case.

I dont think you realise JUST how much I have to do to be able to make it out in June. Which is something that plays on my mind a LOT, and is one of the reasons why I'm finding it hard to fall asleep. I have all the "what if something happens, what if work dont pay me right (which happens every few months or so), what if I injure myself at work, and need a day off. What if I get the flu?" and you'll think I'm just putting you off, feeding you some bullshit lines just to keep you tagging along. It's starting to drive me crazy and parranoid, because I AM trying my fucking hardest to get to see you as quick as I can.Remember I told you Dave texted me to see if I wanted to catch up the other day, and I told him I couldnt until later? truth is, I cant at ALL if I'm going to be able to come out in June. I'm throwing absolutely everything I have into it.

I'm giving you everything I have, I honestly dont have anything more I can give up to show you, and I cant think of ANY other way of showing you (if you can think of anything, by all means tell me), that there is nothing, there is no one else, and I'm sorry if this hurts or sounds like a dig, it's not meant as one..just the truth..that ALL there is..is your parranoia.

I dont think this was too defensive, just answering your points truthfully and explaining a few things.