It's been a few days since I left a message, the cold has been affecting me more than I realised. It's been such hard work just to get out of bed so that my carers can give me a shower in the morning. On top of this I've felt very confused at certain times. It feels like when my pain is at its worse, my brain uses so much effort to cope with it, it can't cope with the normal things like memory & speech at the same time.

Its so frustrating when you know what you want to say but either you forget the words you need or you know the words but your tongue can't say them.

The amount of mini strokes I've had recently, I just don't know if the next one is going to be the massive one that finishes me off. The thought of this hanging over me all the time is terrifying me.

Ian xx