this is my last post here... 

and i hope you read this... 

so i hooked up with a guy last friday and it was amazing!!! ugh he is coming over tomorrow now and idk what we will do, but  im ready for anything now...  

so after i hooked up with them i texted Joe, i wanted to talk to him about it, get his opinion and advice... i thought of him as my Daddy and my best friend... but what happened???? he got mad at me... he got mad at me and then wouldnt fucking get over it!!!... i apologized over and over again, i told him i  had no idea he thought of me as his, but he still didnt fucking get it... he never even asked if i was ok with it?... he made me feel like a fucking slut!!... i had my FIRST kiss, it was the first time i had even done anything!!! and we didnt even have sex!!!! and here i am feeling like a whore because of it!!!!!!! 

so THANK YOU for ruining my first time ever doing anything... thanks 

and what the fuck was i supposed to think! HELLO!!! EARTH TO JOE!!!! you live across the country, have a girlfriend, and have another FUCKING little!!! you made it perfectly clear that i was NEVER going to have you, and that it was all just for fun... WELL FUCK YOU... if it was all just for fun then why the hell were you being possesive about me having a physical relationship with someone!!!!!! i understand you are jealous because you cant have sex with me, and because your gf isnt fucking you, but dont take it out on me!...you are being such an immature baby about this!!!!!!  YOU CANT GIVE ME ANYTHING PHYSICAL SO I GOT IT SOMEWHERE ELSE!!!! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL!!!!!! i was not getting anything emotional from him, but you know what????? maybe i will! 

i told you i wouldnt see him again!!!!!! YOU WOULDNT EVEN AGREE TO NOT TEXT THAT BITCH WHILE YOU WERE SKYPING WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!! if that doesnt show you how much more you meant to me than i did to you, than im not sure what will... i asked if you could do the simplest thing, and you couldnt, because you are a male chauvinist pig!

also... you think you are poly??? well that is just a fucking joke,.... you just want pussy! and im sorry you cant have mine... if your gf was having sex with you, you never would have had a little to begin with! so think about that.... YOU USED ME... and for all intensive purposes, you cheated on me... you cheated on your gf, you cheated on your little, and you cheated on me... how does it feel to be on the other side of the situation??? GOOD????? i sure hope so!!! maybe you will understand why your ex girlfriend cheated on you!!!!!  OH HEY REMEM
BER THAT??? REMEMBER WHEN YOUR HEART GOT TORN OUT BY YOUR EX????... well i am the second one you have done that to in the past 3 months... and im 100% positive you will do the same to your gf and to this new "little" of yours... so GROW THE FUCK UP! you are 33 and I am more mature than you!!!!! ... i would suggest going to therapy, because your ex obviously fucked you up

you are a womanizing ass hole, and you know it... i suggest you delete every single picture of me i ever sent you... 

and i wasnt lying when i said i deserved better than you... i KNOW i deserve better, and i have known that ever since you told me about that bitch you call your little.... i should have left then, i should have walked away, but i gave you a second chance... i gave you a chance to prove yourself, and yet here we are...

and you better feel fucking lucky that i am writing this on line instead of saying it to your face.... because i know how to fuck with peoples minds, and trust me, i know you well enough that i could fuck with you more than anyone else... so be happy that i am good enough of a person to delete those things from this entry.... 

i was going to go cut myself... but you arent worth the blood