|Smiley With a Chance of Tears|
I've finally received a bit of a stress reliever as I am now 100% a new General Electric employee starting in one week (YAY) lol.
I started a diet and exercise plan but with everything going on it has yet to be successfully completed for even a whole day lol. I want to be healthier and feel sexier and gain a bit more confidence back that I once had.
Then again, I am still struggling with my two best friends which has me nearly pulling my hair out on a daily basis and I just completely feel uneasy all the time because of that, like I need a straight jacket and a padded fluffy room.
There is my best friend of 14 years who moved away about 5 years ago and we kept things amazingly smooth running until here recently where she blames me for not calling and such but then i call, i text, i email, i facebook, all to receive no replies and to take all the blame for the lack of communication. I mean COME ONNNN! Yeah right! My fault my ass! I can only give so much and now after three months of this, I give UP!
Then, there's my best friend of 9 years who lives relatively close. Now this section needs a bit of back story. We became friends in middle school, stayed friends all through high school and we were the top dogs on the block making nearly perfect grades and setting ourselves on roads to full success. Difference; I completely had no one to help me get any scholarships and her mother (PTSA president) wrote her scholarship apps for her and even somehow got her a 30,000 dollar scholarship from a church down the street. Now, I was so excited and proud of her for everything as she was also proud of me. Then, tragedy strikes me. My father loses his job less than a week after i began college, I receive the bill for my first semester and even after all of my rewards, loans and tiny scholarships i still had an OUTSTANDING balance to pay. I was forced to drop of of school and get a job in the hopes that one day I will make enough money to return to school which that reality looks dimmer and dimmer as time passes on. It is now my friends second year of college and after the next two semesters she will be traveling off to study abroad in Italy which she could not be more excited about, Or so I thought. Recently, she got a new boyfriend. He is a thug wannabe who smokes weed, pops pills left and right, and has a bad family rap as well as a bad reputation for being dishonest. The first time I met the guy, he was sketchy, out of it, mood swingy, and just all around rude to the people we were in public with. Now, this is the first guy she has ever had sex with, and therefore he has her so wrapped around his finger she could cut it off. She's smothering him in my perspective and now they've broken up and are on hold for him to "better himself" (screw other sluts). Every day I look at my Facebook and it is plastered with her statuses about him and how if other B!%@#&$ don't back off shes gonna punch them in the throat and blahhh blahhh blahh but then she loves him, hates him, loves him, hates him, loveessss himmm and she continuously texts me about these back and forth roller-coaster feelings. Shes now having thoughts that she is going to take him to Italy with her and she failed two courses this past semester. I'm at my wits end with trying to get her to see that she is ruining her life but I just don't simply have enough steam left.
I have my own issues to deal with, and in particular, paying the bills and making ends meet as well as keeping faith and love in my own relationship during our hardships with me having lost my job in March. I know that soon I have better things coming to me, but why is it that one thing breaks and everything else comes falling down on top of you too?