Dear Diary, please help me or slap me across the face to knock some fucking sense into me. I don't even know what to do anymore. I'm still wrapped around Nic's finger. I can't seem to let go. We hadn't fought for two whole days until today. It was minor but it hurts. I sat next to him at the icecream shop and he goes "why do you have to be all up on me?" I said "wow OK."  and moved to the other booth. He claims he was kidding but he does it all the time. Everytime I try to sit next to him. He then said "You dont think you have done anything wrong in the past?" I said "what the fuck? when did I say that?" He left. Big deal. I can't read the guy. He left now. Chelsea works at 4 so OF COURSE he had to hang out with her before that. If only she knew about me. But none of these girls do. They dont know that he comes home expecting sex from his ex girlfriend. He makes me seem dead to all of them. That's why i'm so uncomfortable hanging out with him and his friends. He doesnt know that though. whatever. He went to Rock cut with Trevor, Chelsea, Brent, and Carly. Didnt ask if I wanted to go. thats expected. He claims he always asks though. On another note, HOLY FUCK. I went out last night with some old friends from high school. I got SOOOO fucked up. I couldn't function at all. I don't remember shit. I'm so hungover. It felt good to escape the pain for awhile though. I don't even remember coming home last night.  But apparently when I came home everyone said I was acting so weird and I was being a total bitch. I guess I punched nic. He rubbed a wet cucumber on my face also. Dont remember that. It's all a blur. I smoked way to much weed though. oh my god. I was gone. I have a headache from hell, Im going to lay down. Write later <3