I'm sad, I'm sad and I'm bitter, all because I finally found something that I would really have loved to been a part in, however I can't, just can't, my ship has already sailed, long ago. I am to old to be behaving like the fucked up teenager, I am of an age that I should be behaving as if I am ready and perfectly capable to handle the big wide world and handle all the bull shit it throws you.
In the last few years though, I have deteroated in maturity levels, seriously. My brain feels so dead, just shriveled up as a useless mucsul would.
Oh, and, in case anyone is interested, I am stoned again, hence the odd rambling above this, honestly, right at this moment I do not even know what it says up there, as I cannot remember and I have not gone over it since writing it, and that has been a while since I started this entry seems I keep getting lost in distracting thoughts and I forget to write too, or, the weird and random conversation keeps changing direction and story line in my head, it's so hard to keep up with when trying to type.
I so badly have to sleep. I worked sixteen hours today, fifteen hours yesterday and it'll be another fifteen tomorrow, plus I have been staying back at the yards with the girls every night, for an extra few hours, so that is taking it's toll on me... I just need to sleep.