Lonesome Standard Time.Stat.Ech.

LONESOME STANDARD TIME (Kathy Mattea)

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I have lonesome days. Today was one of them. The urge to wallow was great.

I wanted to climb into my own crawlspace and swear to live there. Just misery.

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On a brighter note i  got 6 hours of sleep.I talked to My Matty.I still think he is adorable. : )

I went to a church thing. We played board games and the kids ran about and played. i found out jules is Moving..It makes me really sad.I am gonna miss her so much. It makes me afraid. I donno who to turn to now. She is like one of my best pals since 7th grade. It kills me almost. . I love her so much. : (

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Sometimes i worry I won’t have anyone.That when I die, I will look up and there will be no one there. And because of that I will have no will To fight. I will just die.

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I want to call someone, anyone. So I wont feel so lonely. Then I realize, I don’t want to burden anyone and I push it further down into my guts. I just listen to Johnny cash and cry inside.Maybe.Just maybe I will live. I wish more then anything he was here to hold me..while I drown in myself.

I give this to God so I can find the light and the dark wont pull me in.

My saddness can be terrifying.

Adios. Siarai