Diary recovered

I started this diary a little over 9 years ago and, stupidly, never downloaded it. Which makes no sense coming from a person who hits Ctrl S every 20 seconds while typing a paper… After the frenzy of data issues that happened all week, I came back to log on and it didn’t recognize my password. Funny, because I have a fingerprint reader, there is no not recognizing my password.  I found friends’ diaries, clicked notes I’d left – this diary does not exist. What the eff. I emailed and found out that the perfectly restored database was perfect sans my nearly ten years of writing. They said that probably it was all still around somewhere and probably it was just this simple fix. I’m truly freaking out at this point because probably sounds like a No to me, always. I literally couldn’t sleep. Nine years of every thought I ever had and refused to tell other people in my life. Nine years of advice and understanding from people I trusted my secrets with. Mostly it meant that nine years of what consistently reminded me of who I actually am and strive to be could have been gone. My history could have been gone. There’s no recreating this amount of detail ever. I sort of felt like a ghost without all this writing. Which may sound strange for a lot of my non OD friends to hear, but I’m confident pretty much everyone here knows how deep your writing is for you. I know I have my memories, but really my memory isn’t the best, especially for the traumas I went through as a child. And while they’re not outlined in graphic detail here, they’re still here and they still remind me what I came from and what I’m working with when I choose to forget everything. Luckily they fixed what apparently was a simple problem pretty quickly. If they weren’t able to, if somehow, nine years of my life were erased… I don’t think I could be held accountable for my actions. Losing almost a decade of writing is one of the few thoughts in life that makes me feel nauseous and homicidal at the same time. Granted, it is my stupid fault for never downloading my diary. It literally took three seconds to do. I’m sure everyone here is much smarter than me, but if by some chance you’re missing the caution chip too, download your effing diary right now. Do it.