My Final Explosion…

***Disclaimer***
I am not as weird as this makes me sound.
I am actually normal.

Last night was as unpredictable as it could ever have been. I was merely out on a night out with my best friend and my cousin, both were birthday celebrations and I was greatly enjoying myself. I walked into the Nelson Tavern to find Martyn and Elise waiting there for me. Both with smiles on their faces as I walked through the doors.
I hadn’t seem them in a long time so I was incredibly happy to see them again in the flesh. They both looked stunning as always and they were just about to sit down for a drink.
Steve went to the bar to get us both a drink, him on Budweiser and myself on Fosters. After he purchased them we both went and sat with Elise and Martyn, the fun and games ensued as my cousin and a big group of his friends arrived in The Nelson. I poked fun and had a joke with everyone as I always do.

Slowly the night wound up on the outside in the beer garden with even more of our friends. Sam mentioned Mary would be arriving to join the festivities. After her incredibly hurtful comments the night before on the bus I was slightly dis-pleased. I’m not entirely sure why but merely the mention of her name brought forth feelings of anger and dis-content.
She walked past later in the night but didn’t join us, her and her boyfriend John were meeting everyone in the Bulls Head. We continued to enjoy the festivities and Steve (my best friend) disappeared during the night for whatever reasons he had. I continued to enjoy myself but now I was beginning to feel a little ill at ease with my situation. Eventually we headed to The Bulls Head…

When we arrived at The Bulls I started to feeling very out of place because my ex-girlfriend was getting a better reception than I was from my friends and my family. Slowly but surely the night dragged on and then she did it. She finally walked past me.
I don’t know how it happened or where it came from but I flew into an incredible rage. Suddenly the entire world seemed so wrong and pathetic. I could feel it burning across my skin, bubbling through my mind and ripping through my veins. My entire body suddenly rose several degrees in temperature. It was happening again. I could feel the hate and malice warping my thoughts…
Infecting my mind, my heart and my soul with its insidious darkness…
The shear power it thrust into my hands was incredible, it made me feel immortal. Like I had ascended to the next level of being.
I couldn’t control it and words burst from my mouth like magnum rounds. Each designed and precision aimed to cause sadness and turmoil.
She simply looked at me with those eyes… that look… there was no fear there… I didn’t know if I should be turned on or even angrier. My uncle stepped in and I squared up to him, he greatly out-sized me though.
After an exchange of words he threw me to the ground, he told me he was afraid I was going to hit him and he didn’t want to hit me. He said it would have hurt him a lot more.
I was outside by this point… the anger boiled to my safety cut-off and my entire being was swallowed into a pit of despair. The tears began to flow and I couldn’t stop them. My heart was broken and I didn’t know what to do.

My auntie tried to assist me in recovering. But she went about it the wrong way. While  I was crumpled into a crying ball she brought up Hazel…
It was the worst  timing anyone had ever had to bring her into the conversation…
"You compare Mary too much with Hazel."
That was her words of advice, but  I did and I still do. Mary is nothing like Hazel and way below her level. At least Hazel left me alone when she saw how much she had hurt me. Not continue to turn up with her new boyfriend and rub it in my face because I was still alone and too afraid to get anyone else.

I headed home to the safety of my house and my bed. I would be away from them here… slowly the quite blackness of sleep took me.

This morning I awoke to find myself in a great mood. All the memory of what had happened remained and I still felt absolutely orgasmic. The weight that I had lifted made everything right again, just that pure ecstacy of unleashing so much built up negativity in one swoop… there is no feeling like it. I was free again, free to get on with it. But I vowed that I would make that my last, She is gone for good and so is the negativity.

But don’t get me wrong, I didn’t raise a fist to anyone and I never would. I am completely non-violent. I just wish other people could see that…

**this is a real event by the way**