Two fathers, dad and stepdad

This is taken from another journal of mine:

I have two fathers, yet I find neither helped me find strength. Sure they tried, but never very hard and never in a real individualized way. Rather than taking an interested role in the direction of my heart, I instead felt pushed in the direction they, each in their own way, felt the "best" way. This, for me, was problematic in that firstly, having two fathers, neither agreed with the other on what was best and also because both pushed to be who "they" wanted, not who they saw me becoming.

Passion must be discovered, character strengthened, how else can life be lived well? Criticizing the way a child’s way differs from yours only breaks strength. I fear, should I have children, I would only fall into the same pattern as my parents.