HAP-E-NEW-YEAR!

So something tells me that vodka, cell phones, and and a holiday that encourages you to stay up late just don’t mix. Or maybe they do, but plenty of people have told me that I left numberous voice mails and text messages on their phones, especially Danielle who was AT MY HOUSE!

New Year’s Eve was great, even if I did stay home and pig out, we still had fun. Mr. Smirnoff ensured that we stayed happy and I think that I ended up drunk twice (because we took a break to watch a movie and then suddenly realized that it was 11:30 and started doing shots.) My parents actually approved of this party (ok, not really they think I just had some kid-friendly sleep over without the presence of alcohol, but that’s what they get for leaving me home alone over the holidays.) I had to get up and open the restaraunt the next day, but that didn’t matter to me.

We’re in the process of trying to plan this bachelorette party, which is proving to be harder than I expected. Partially because I figured we could go out, embarrass the hell out of Whitney, do a few shots, get a little crazy, and come home. But now it’s turned into this whole weekend getaway extravaganza and I don’t quite know what to make of it. It’s not that I don’t want to do it, it’s just that now it requires asking off of work for the whole weekend, getting a hotel, and making an “agenda” for the whole thing. It’s just more work than I had originally expected. Oh well, all I have to say is that when the time comes that I finally get married they sure as hell better go through as much trouble for me!

I’m pissed at myself for not auditioning back in December. I could have done it, but I guess I just didn’t want it that badly, or else I would have done everything in my power to go. When it comes down to it I’m intimidated and afraid. Afraid that I won’t make it, I won’t be good enough, I won’t understand, or I won’t be able to give them the 2,032% that they require for rehearsals. I guess I’m just making excuses. In high school it was so much easier because there was no real competition (hell what am I saying, there wasn’t even a real stage!) It was easier, I know. But I can’t spend my whole life taking the safe route.  *sighs* I keep telling myself, “Next time, you’ll audition next time…” but what happens when there is no next time?