You Are Not Alone Circle
I can’t think
I can’t think anymore. I don’t know how to participate in conversation. My boyfriend made a comment earlier that stuck with me. He said “it’s funny how when you play the sims, I do most of the talking, and now that I’m playing the sims, I’m still doing most of the talking.” He laughed but…
Losing so much, so quick
Now, for just a normal entry - Are things getting better? Not really. At least not for my broken heart and the rest of my fucked up life. I literally feel like I’m losing everything/everyone all at once. That’s a super shitty feeling. My therapist finally put her foot down I had to see my…
Dear Max, 3/24/24
Dear Max, Another day without you. Without waking up to your face. Without feeling your incredible hugs. Without a kiss or an I Love You. It’s supposed to be getting easier. Yet, it isn’t. Time isn’t healing this wound. I know it’s only been a couple weeks. However, each day hurts a little more, ...
Two weeks… Dear Max…
I decided far earlier today I’d make a chapter. Just for my thoughts and comments to M. Nothing more. Nothing less. No contact is killing me. Literally, so here we go… Dear Max, Two weeks. Two weeks ago I thought we were happy. I thought we’d make it work. We’d be the success of statistics.…
Day 10 – It only hurts worse.
It's supposed to get better - right? Well, nothing is better. The truth - it's worse. Each day is worse than the day before. Each day I have less hope. Each day my will to live, to fight this, diminishes even more. Each day I cry harder, hurt more. I've went through break-ups, a nasty…
DO NOT DISTURB MY DEMONS
*I have secrets...I won't tell...just know I have them! They are better left in the attic because not many can handle what lurks deep in my soul! Do not disturb my demons...my demons don't play well with others...they like staying in the dark...it's better that way!* 2 days ago I received ...
Day 3 – So hurt and broken.
Day 3. I decided maybe I’d start documenting life in days. Day 3 Post Max - to say I’m fucked would be an understatement. I’m broken. Absolutely and utterly broken. I knew my heart could shatter - I learned this when we lost our daughter. Yet, I didn’t know it could shatter all over again.…
Maladaptive Coping Styles
Maladaptive Coping Styles - therapists words. Not mine thank you. I think my coping styles are just fucking fine. I’m still struggling to accept the things M says and does. He doesn’t even deserve to have his name spelled out these days. He’s turned into an utterly mean person. Spent 3 hours in t...
Not Good Enough For Him
My world is simply falling apart. While his is… falling together? How many nights must one person cry themselves to sleep in a lifetime before it’s enough? This isn’t fair. All I can keep returning to is that - this is not fair. What did I do to deserve to be treated like this? Why…
Get to know me before u judge me
Get to know me before u judge me. I'm in my masculine energy because A man gave me no choice but to step up where he slacked off. I didn't ask for that role it was given to me. I'm boisterous n loud because I was raised that way. I'm a good kind of hood meaning…