I need back up

I am going to lose my shit! What is wrong with this child? She is 2 and she is awake. Let me touch everything that is NOT mine!! Let me put this in here. Let me take that over there. My toys? I don’t want my toys! Those are stupid! Let me touch everything that is not mine! Just like her dad! Just like her dad! This cat, he is about to go back to the rescue mission if he doesn’t stop eating my plants. You better be bringing something really awesome to the table if I have to give up my wine!