I forgive myself. I relinquish the false narrative of a strong and happy face. Next time, ask for help ya silly ish! Prioritize self.. you cannot fill other cups when yours is empty. In all honesty.. cutting right to the chase.. F depression. Its a catch 22 that will blind side you. Opt out of the cycle and don’t beat yourself up for being human.. and being a mom. Mom is also not an identity. Yes, it something to be proud of.. but its not your identity. Let those around you in on your true feelings. No matter the age, normalize being human, with flaws, with up and downs.. and different paths back to self. Not the same self.. but a better one. Don’t fault yourself man… allow yourself to grieve, to heal. Start your journey in whatever way you see fit. There is no such thing as the right way and the wrong way.. thats subjective. The only thing you really cannot do is blame yourself for whatever perceived weakness you had/have. OWN that ish.. don’t just own it… make it your bish, the way it tried to do the same to you!!
One day I will look back at this struggle with reverence. But right now.. its from a place JUST past of anger but right before humor. I’m in the “I Don’t F with You” part of my journey… and.. I am imperfectly, perfectly ok with that!!