Its. My. Fault.

It’s my fault.😔 (WWW)

 

Save Me from my sadness

I’m so lonely that I have no one to talk to so I go on here.

I’m going to tell you my story. My story starts in 1st period Art class 1st day of school. There was this new girl I looked at her and she looked back at me. For a second my whole year flashed before my eyes. We were best friends. And it was that day that I decided that I was going to be best friends with her. I met someone else too and the same thing happened with her too. My whole year flashed before my eyes. I decided to become best friends. with both of them. We both got so close. We were known as the 3 group. (not really but people saw us that way) I was so happy. What and when did it go wrong. Until one of them decided to get close to this girl. She was toxic. VERY TOXIC. A couple of weeks went by and both of my friends found out she was toxic but I didn’t listen. I was still friends with her because I was afraid that she would spread this secret around the school. I was protective. But all of my protectiveness of this secret was wrong. I chose this toxic bitch over my 2 best friends (my happiness) The only reason I lived was because of them. So we drifted. I knew what would happen if I didn’t apologize, so on my was to volleyball I sent an apology text to them It went like.

 

Hey I don’t know what caused us to drift but I don’t want us to stop being friends. You mean so much to me and if  Toxic person  Gets in the middle of our friendship than I’ll stop hanging out with her. And yes i know what I did was wrong but I just couldn’t let that secret get out. And me and her have known each other for so long so its hard to let her go. I love you so much and you are one of the best things that had ever happened to me. I’m so sorry.

They refused.

Now every day doesn’t go by that I don’t think about them and how I cry over them every day.

I’m tired and numb. everything hurts. I want to die but im scared of what dying will look like. I have 1 friend and she doesn’t understand.

and the worst part of all of this is that..

 

I will always have to live with the fact that its my fault.

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May 25, 2020

😭🤗

6 days ago

Hello,

First of all

AIR HUGSSSSS (Because gurl you need them)

I hope that things have gotten better for you. And I hope this comes when you need it. There are… so many decisions and events that define a person. And though you may be falling right now, that doesn’t mean you’ll never fly again. Though this may be so hard and so crushing, you have to go on. They’ve refused. But if you truly meant your apology, with every atom in your body, then they will find a way to forgive you one day. Until that day, you will have to hang on. And even then, you’ll have to fight. Fight like hell. The people in your life should not decide when you end your life or even consider doing so. You are your own person. You get to choose what defines you and what doesn’t. People make mistakes, yes. But when they are willing to fix them, things will work out. Things will be hard, so very hard, but you will have to blaze through them. It may be your fault, and it will be tough to accept that. To come to terms with yourself that this entire thing happened because of you. But one day, I hope you find enough peace to forgive yourself. And when you do, I’d like to know. I don’t know you, and you don’t know me, but I understand. How much it hurts. Please do not end your life. Help others save theirs. Don’t fall apart, okay?😊