After the huge shock of getting the letter yesterday about department of housing wanting to evict me it affected me badly. Not just mentally, its also affected my pain disorder as well, i am in so much pain i can hardly move. It wasn’t a shock to me as i was expecting it because i can never seem to meet their standards, but it affected me greatly as if it i had been through a trauma.
I was able to get a little sleep, i am feeling a little more relaxed today but i am still scared shitless. I am trying to stay positive & take steps to put into place to fight this case. I have more fighting strength today than i did yesterday, then again after getting that letter affected me in a bad way.
I contacted the social worker person from dpt housing late yesterday afternoon to ask once again for the millionth time for other places to refer me to for help. He assured me that if i go into this hearing with a plan in place of support services & taking action steps that i will win this case. Although i am not getting my hopes up because everything i touch turns to shit anyway. But i am going to fight will the little strength i have left.
I am pissed off with the dept housing social worker person who was meant to link me up with multiple agencies to get me the help i need & he only linked me up with 1 agency for a psychologist. Then when i rang him last night he gave me the number for another agency. I contacted them today & they told me they will help me, if they can’t help me they will find someone who can, they will not leave me to struggle on my own. Now why the hell didn’t this social worker guy link me up with this agency 6 fucking months ago when i first started asking for help. I had only asked more times than i can count for agencies & telling him how much i needed help.
Fingers crossed i finally found someone today who says they will help me fix my backyard up. If the original cost is over my budget he says he will let me pay it off. When i told him that i wouldn’t be able to book him until i get paid next he told me thats ok we will work it out & he will take care of it & we will work out a payment after. Again i am not getting my hopes up as nothing has ever come through before. He says he will come around on saturday to have a look at my yard.
I have also arranged to have a psychic reading done over the phone. Its something i have been thinking about for a very long time & i feel right now is the time i need it. I have done my research & looked into who i am getting the reading from to do as best as i can to make sure i am not getting a fraud, because there are some very good frauds out there. I am going into this reading without telling her anything about myself or why i want the reading. I don’t trust psychics who want to know everything first & who ask alot of questions, they tend to be fraudsters. I believe in psychics as i have some sensitivities myself but nothing compared to a real full psychic. My reading will be done either today or tomorrow. I am hoping today because i am an impatient person & when i really want something i want it yesterday. I am hoping in this reading that my spirit guides & ancestors come through to give me some guidance as i am not in the right state of mind to recognize their messages when i ask for them right now, my mind is to fogged.