Who was Matthew

The month of January and February seem to be hard months for me. The biggest reason being because of my little brother. This year he would have been 30 on the 29th of this month and it really does suck that we cannot celebrate with him. I was suppose to be able to make fun of him for getting old, not trying to find away to make his birthday still special while we remember him.

If you read the other post I wrote about what happened to him you would have read about how he passed away February 10th from an overdose.

Most people when they hear overdose the first thought that normally comes to mind is drug addict. I’m not saying this just because I’m his sister but that is not a word I would use to describe my brother.

Who was Matthew? Well to me, he was a little brother and the best one anyone could ever ask for. He was one of the most amazing men I had in my life. He loved with his whole heart and was unapologetically him self always. He had a temper like no other and had no fear in getting into a fight with someone no matter their size. He had this laugh that you couldn’t help but laugh too when you heard it. I never had left overs in my house when he was over because he could probably out eat anyone. Matthew cared so deeply for the people in his life and his daughter was his whole world. No he was not a perfect person and he had his things like everyone else.  He did  get into some trouble and he didn’t always handle things the way maybe others thought he should but I truly believe he did his best to do what he thought was right. He was the only constant male in my life growing up that never broke his promise. He did everything to protect myself and our sisters even though he was the youngest.

Matthew had so much left to live for, he was becoming such an amazing man. He had grown so much the year before he passed away. I was so very proud of him and I hope that he knew that. With all the amazing things he was doing he also had so habits I wish he wouldn’t have had. He liked to party from time to time and unfortunately he trusted the wrong person and his decision to take a pill ended his life.

I feel like he just lived in the now and just focused on living his life and being happy that I think he just forgot about the ifs. I like to think my brother lived freely and tried not worry about the scary stuff. I think my brother felt things deeply and sometimes it was a lot for him and there were times I think I shouldn’t have been so hard on him but I just wanted the best for him because I knew he was capable.

Maybe I’m just rambling on, and I wish for nothing more than to be able to interduce people to my brother. I don’t want to only be able to talk about past memories. I wish I did not have to write about him on here like I do. I find my self getting defensive when people talk about the fact that he overdosed like he was some kind of drug addict forgetting the fact that they only go off of what they hear because they did not know my brother.

So the whole point of my post who was Matthew?

Matthew was a brother and father and a son. He was a good friend and the life of the party. He was brave and remarkable. Matthew was and will always be truly amazing.