Things are coming together. Still proud of myself about the drinking. Its just an unhealthy habit to carry with you day to day. I’d like it to be an occasional thing and I think I’m there. Meaning- mentally I’m over that hump of "habit" and I have new habits now, and dont miss drinking. In fact it makes me feel gross and I dont crave it at all right now.
I may have mentioned Paul started to get a little bit of cold feet about having another baby. Made me a little worried but we actually talked it through, and then he is the one who grabbed the reins and ran with it. He initiated the "trying" part of "trying to have a baby" today…no real chance of me concieving today but it was more for emotional practice I think than for attempts 🙂 Just to see how it feels to be doing this again….and I feel so good about it. And I could tell Paul was excited. It feels good to be in this place in our marriage right now. We’re spending a lot of close time together and also really embracing being individuals with our own seporate goals and passions. But we come together at home. It feels really nice.
So, that being said, we’re on track for my whole "ideal plan" (I can hear God laughing now) of getting pregnant in late March and having my Mid December baby. If that window comes and goes, I will still be overjoyed with anytime after that. I feel like a total loser that this is one of the main things I’ve been writing about lately. Getting pregnant again. Its not the only thing on my mind, but when I sit down and write, its what comes out, because I dont have a chance to really think about this or hash it through day to day. I’m in school full time and that is one of my main focuses, and Lucy of course, so I dont think about this at all really. But it feels good to sort it out on paper, becuase it helps me feel more prepared, like I have to do SOME preparing for this- I dont want to be blindsided when things start happening so fast, as i know they do.
I’ve been juicing 3 days in a row now– feels great. Just once a day, but until my parents bring my juicer down, or Paul’s parents send us back the one they stole from us, thats about all I can swing. Hoping both happen because we love doing the juice. Been back on the vegan band wagon as well. Feeling so freaking good. So tired though at night, like i hit a brick wall: fell asleep on the couch before 9pm the other night and aside from being awake from 12-1am, I slept until 8am! I just couldnt keep my eyes open. Otherwise…I’ve lost maybe a couple pounds that I put on during the holidays, probably just 2 or something. But enough to feel a difference. Hoping to drop maybe just a few more. I feel best if I keep it right below 120. 118 felt great when Lucy was an infant. Not sure if I was lower for any length of time, and not sure if I was much higher. I just know when it starts creeping up around 125 things are looking a little loose in the caboose! Im not shooting for any weight and I dont weigh myself often (no scale here).
I want to make sure I’m primo healthy before getting pregnant. I did good the first time but I certainly could have done better. In the early month or 3, I was drinking diet pop. GOOD LORD! I stopped abruptly when my mom reminded me how terrible aspartame is for you, especially for the developing nerve cells of a fetus! Wont be doing that again. And I did partake in occasional MSG via chinese food and i remember I probably had about 4 or 5 servings of ramen noodles one week when i thought i was craving it. Otherwise I ate a lot of salads and healthy foods, but could do with less dairy this time (will shoot for no dairy and TONS of juice, fruits, veggies). By juice I mean fresh veg from the juicer. For my 2nd pregnancy I would like to continue a plant based vegan diet. But I cant say I wont give into some low fat cottage cheese, or veggie pizza with real cheese, every now and then. I will have to work hard to make sure I get adequate nutrients and not stick to only a small group of foods that I’m craving. But I have a book on pregnancy and the vegan diet from way before i even got married, and I will consult other books as well, just for some education and ideas.
The 2nd time around I will also have to do more baby wearing. I think it will be necessary, because I will have a toddler this time as well. I would like to push Lucy in the stroller and wear the baby. Or when I take Lucy to the park or something, or wear the baby around the house. I didnt have a good sling for this last time. I had the baby bjorn which i loved for anything active and out of the house. But it didnt work for me around the house, like to do dishes in. I couldnt stand at the sink and wash dishes with the bjorn on…i did it, but it wasnt easy. Ive researched a few slings and made a "wish list" on amazon for baby number 2….which is not for a registry, but more of a list for me to know what I need and want, so I remember to buy it, and for any inquiring souls who ask me what I need (like our family, who would want to get us things for the baby if we needed them). I also LOVE LOVE LOVE california baby products. I had a bunch for Lucy, and when we ran out, I didnt really get a lot more because its so expensive. I would love to invest in a whole stash of all califnornia baby proudcuts for number 2, just at least to get us through age 0 to 12 months, and then they are tough as nails and dont need such fru fru lotions anymore 😉 😉 😉
I got Lucy some Tom’s toothpaste- saw some disturbing stuff about flouride and other additives that are good for your teeth when applied topically, but not good for your body when ingested. I feel better knowing im just cleaning her teeth with a gentle cleaner, rather than chemicals. Also, I read some of a book about dental health and nutrition. You can curb tooth decay a lot better via diet than you can with any chemicals, like ingesting flouride. A healthy diet thats devoid of processed foods will go a long way towards dental health.
I dont feel in any way that I am worrying too much about stuff. Some people might say that. I WOULD feel that way if right now I started to tackle home cleaning chemicals and toxins in everyday household products, along with second guessing what I ended up doing with Lucy’s vaccines, along with reading books about how to teach my baby to read and make her a genious. No mother can take in that much information at one time and try to be perfect for her kid. I have always been passionate about eating a whole, plant based diet. I have always tried to stay away from chemicals and harmful food additives. I feel really good about putting some more effort into this area of our lives right now. I had gotten away from it, with all the booze probably- lol- and it feels like I am once again on the right track.